Emma's new bike

Last week-end we bought Emma her first bike with pedals (until now she has been using a balance bike, like the one Will is on in the pics). It was a bit scary for her to actually pedal instead of having her feet on the ground...

She made progress quite quickly once she stopped freaking out every second. The hardest thing about Emma and novelty is her negative approach to things (even things she is clearly good at!). It's really hard to keep praising and encouraging someone who is constantly saying they can't, will not, aren't able, don't know, etc. I wonder if there is another way to encourage her while feeling less annoyed at her attitude. When she was the only child, it was feasible to stop the activity at hand of sit down, talk it out and have an ice-cream or whatever but now that she is no longer an only child, it's unjust to stop everybody's fun because of her -and sometimes simply impossible of dangerous because William is too small to be left alone and I can't carry two bikes and two kids.  :-(

Emma is a bit of a diesel, when she gets the hang of things, nothing can stop her, but until she gets there... wow, the cows have come home. I find it hard as a parent to want to give her the extra time and attention when she has ruined 4 meals in a row because she won't eat or has taken ages to finish when I have to get William to bed. Also, and it's unfortunate, but the praise and encouragements don't always work - in fact sometimes shouting or a threat are much more effective with her but they make me feel like crap. I just don't understand why we have to get to the shouting/punishing/sending her away from table for her to react. And when others are around she sometimes is just another person; full of beans, positive and not the least bit whiny. I guess she's testing me and looking for boundaries but, but, but BUTTT ... AGHHH! 

Guess I just need to hang on to the idea that it's a phase and that it will pass. Soon I hope.

Will the gardener loves water

Emma's portrait of Will and herself

Love it!

Emma and Will chilling out before dinner

While I was preparing dinner tonight, Emma, joined by William, sat by the window and chilled out by creatively singing her way around pictures in a book .

I'm beginning to think that William is going to be quite a chatterbox too!! Oh dear!

Joy pockets

Walking on the beach, writing in the sand with sticks and gathering shells with Steph and the kids

watching William discover the waves and the way they erase letters in the sand

 watching Emma and Will make shell cakes

planting flowers in front of our house to welcome Spring and decorating the garbage bin

Enjoying some pleasant meals when the kids actually ate eagerly -no whining or complaining! Note to self: we had Tacos, Spaghetti carbonara, green-bean, tomato-potato and minced meat stew, fish and rice as well as snacks of fruit, biscuits, popcorn and jello-o which they loved. Only thing that they did not love was the broccoli and ham quiche. Of course.

 Emma having some "pink milk" like Lola

 William eating his spaghetti carbonara

I have been enjoying some solo time with Will - I spent so much time playing with Emma, reading to her, making puzzles, eating her pretend cakes whereas with William it's been and still is a rare thing. This week, after nearly a month of bronchitis, he had diarrhea so again we played emptying the kitchen cupboards, cooked together, read some books, cuddled and played hide and seek just the two of us. Tomorrow he comes off bronchitis meds and hopefully his tummy will settle soon. His trousers are falling down!

Some sunny weather after all that snow and rain and wind!

Sick William playing in the kitchen

Cycling on Sunday

Carnival time!

 Emma was a princess today and William looked great as a cheeky monkey

 Steph the Mexican with the kids who headed right for the food table as usual as soon as we got to the party!

 and yours truly as... Pippi Longstockings!

We had a great time!

Emma the cat

So what's it like living in Athens at the mo'?

 So what's it like living in Athens at the mo'?

Well, first of all we are expats, we live in the northern suburbs in a very residential and privileged area so we don't see much poverty around here and we have not been caught up in demonstrations as long as we have kept out of the centre of town.

We have been mildly affected by the strikes - mainly the post office, public transport but the worst by far was when the garbage was not picked up for weeks last autumn. We do see the odd person going through garbage bins (but I had seen that in Vienna too although usually it was the close bins people dug through) and at many traffic lights there are people playing violins, selling bananas, tissues or flowers, begging with a newborn in one had, or offering to wash your car's wind-screen for a couple of coins. On the other hand, these people at traffic lights are either black, gypsy, Pakistani or Indian I have never seen one that looks mildly Greek.

In the supermarket:

• some products have been missing and after asking about the kids' favorite organic Greek yogurt I was told that it was "on order but that the producer was having some problems... " - Lucky for us it is back again -after a couple of weeks - and I have stocked up on it.
• a Greek woman once asked me where a yogurt was from and when I said I thought it was Greek she winced at the label and asked me if I was sure it was not made in Germany! I checked and answered her that it did not seem to be the case and when I asked her why she replied that she would no longer buy any German products. Why? for political reasons and more she replied. If I have to buy foreign I would rather buy Italian, she said, they are more like us. 
• it is rumored that Carrefour owes money left, right and centre and that they might close soon. In fact, new expats coming to work for them here have been refused a house they wanted to rent due to these "rumors"...
• all in all I still find the shelves are full of whatever one might desire.

talk with locals here:

• I have been told by a local that the Greeks only understood that the country was bankrupt this past week-end. As a result, they rushed to stock up on foods and took as much cash as possible out of their bank accounts. 
• Locals have said they are frightened that the people will rebel against the politicians and come to "bomb" them (I don't think this was meant literally!) here in the northern suburbs

talk with expats: 

• An expat Mum who was trying to pay her bills was unable to get enough large bills from the cash machine or the bank counter and it was apparently because people had emptied their bank accounts fearing their money would be taken by the bankrupt government.
• quite a few of them have already stocked up on foods and have some cash ready at home in case they have to leave and the banks stop distributing cash. This I find quite alarming
• A couple of expat families have told me that they now transfer all their local cash (we all receive at least part of our salaries here in local banks for tax purposes) the minute it hits the Greek account back home to their other bank account for fear of losing money.

tax issues: 

• because nobody (not the politicians, not the middle class not the poor) have been paying taxes here for ages (why would they as it was indeed not put to good use but just contributed to making the corrupt politicians richer) tax is directly added on to electricity/heating bills (as it has been to fuel, tobacco, alcohol in many other countries) so as to ensure taxes are paid. In our case, the tax on electricity more than triples the bill!  A result of this is that people who cannot pay the electricity bill (tax included) are having their electricity or heating cut off. Another result of this is that people are hiring men who can "fiddle with the electricity meter" for a couple of hundred euro so that the electricity bill (and added tax) is much lower than actual consumption. 
• It seems to me that whereas before people were not paying tax because they felt they were just being ripped off by a corrupt state and not contributing to roads, transport, hospitals schools etc. nowdays the vast majority of people are not paying because they cannot afford to.

An anecdote:

I have been told there is a road here (a big national highway like road) that was build with EU money. One of the conditions was that it was to have 4 lanes. To verify the road was indeed being built the way the agreement stipulated, the EU relied on pictures. PHOTOS. Indeed the Greeks sent satellite pics of a portion of the road to the EU who ticked the box and sent in more cash. It turns out that only a couple of kilometers of the road have the required 4 lanes. The rest is a 2 lane. It could have been worse - they could have only built a couple of km of the road...

As often, it looks worse on the news than in my reality but again, we are the privileged expats...

Potatoes anyone???

Emma at the Olympics swimming pool

At the end of November Emma started swimming lessons during art and crafts time at kindergarten on Thursday mornings. Today I went to watch Emma during her lesson at the Olympics swimming pool. She has had 8 lessons so far and is really enjoying her time in the water.

Here are some pics of today's lesson.

 

I wish I hadn't worked so hard

or the top five regrets of the dying

The Guardian published an article about the top five regrets of the dying recorded by a palliative nurse. Among the top ones is 'I wish I hadn't worked so hard'. For my Dad, his older brother's death was a wake-up call and when he firmly decided that he would not work himself into the grave but rather do everything he could to ensure more time to spend enjoying life. And I think he succeeded pretty well. I guess I was not that surprised at this being number one. Regret number 3 ("I wish I'd had the courage to express my feelings") also makes a lot of sense - I can totally relate to that. It's in our culture to be polite, restrained... It takes courage to express ones' feelings and face disapproval or hurting someone's feelings or even rejection or isolation but I think bottled up/ non-digested  emotions do damage us physically in the long run.

I am sure a lot of people regret not telling close ones they love them despite all the day to day hassle. And also taking it slow, taking the time to pause and savor the moment.

But regret number 5 is what hit home the most; "I wish that I had let myself be happier" - or perhaps I wish I had made it a priority to be happy.

Anyway, what would be your regret if you were dying right now?

I especially like the fact that happiness is a choice. In my opinion, we don't stress this enough when teaching children. I think teaching them that it is important to be happy, to listen to your gut, to go after your dreams (and support them in getting there) is paramount. I think it's important to actually TELL them that true happiness is the most important thing in life.  It's important to teach them that happiness is a choice and something to go after just as much as, if not more,  good grades or a good job.

I make it a point to ask Emma what makes her happy or if she is happy and now she sometimes spontaneously just tells me she is feeling happy before saying nightie-night. Even if she tells me because she senses it is important to me, she is learning that it is important in itself.  I think that's just the bees-knees!

All I really need to know I learned in kindergarten...

All I really need to know about how to live and what to do and how to be I learned in kindergarten. Wisdom was not at the top of the graduate-school mountain, but there in the sandpile at Sunday School. These are the things I learned:

Share everything. Play fair.  Don't hit people. Put things back where you found them. Clean up your own mess. Don't take things that aren't yours. Say you're sorry when you hurt somebody. Wash your hands before you eat. Flush. Warm cookies and cold milk are good for you. Live a balanced life- learn some and think some and draw and paint and sing and dance and play and work every day some.  Take a nap every afternoon. When you go out into the world, watch out for traffic, hold hands and stick together. Be aware of wonder. Remember the little seed in the Styrofoam cup: the roots go down and the plants goes up and nobody really knows how or why, but we are all like that. Goldfish and hamsters and white mice and even the little seed in the Styrofoam cup - they all die. So do we. And then remember the Dick-andJane books and the first word you learned- the biggest word of all- LOOK. Everything you need to know is there somewhere. The Golden Rule and love and basic sanitation. Ecology and politics and equality and sane living. Take any one of those items and extrapolate it into sophisticated adult terms and apply it to your family life or your work or your government or your world and it holds true and clear and firm. Think what a better world it would be if we all - the whole world - had cookies and milk about three o'clock every afternoon and then lay down with our blankets for a nap. Or if all governments had a basic policy to put things back where they found them and to clean up after their own mess. And it is still true, no matter how old you are - when you go out into the world, it is best to hold hands and stick together.

by Robert Fulghum

I guess our kids are on the right track...

Yummy cupcakes

Ok, fine, the only yummy thing about cupcakes is the topping and sometimes only the look of it -but the kids loved the idea of going out for cupcakes and it was freezing outside so it was a good option. The only backlash was the sugar buzz we had to work off at the park before driving back home.
Next time I have to film William's unique way of eating them - head down straight into the icing!

William's new love

William and his wheeled backpack

In high school, one of my ex-boyfriends used to help a group of us study for history exams but then consistently got the worst grade whereas we all came through with flying colours.  In French we say, le cordonnier est toujours le plus mal chaussé of which the English equivalent is apparently "It's always the baker's children who have no bread". Well in my case, it's always the cook who is not fed. 

Let me explain; Emma is going through a horribly picky phase with food. And by that I mean that she will only eat bread, some cheese, yogurt, hard boiled egg, pasta, sandwiches, salami, cucumber and sometimes yellow peppers. Oh and of course chocolate and ice-cream and any junk food served at birthday parties. 

I realize that by some standards this is not so bad and she is not too skinny, but her past appetite and willingness to eat seems to have vanished and she has been looking rather pale.  She has even gone to bed without dinner a few times in the past few weeks after refusing to eat risotto, quinoa, various soups, mashed potatoes and roast, rice, carrots and peas and much more.  Our take on it has been to not give her anything else but what is served for dinner.

We figure if she is hungry, she will (finally) eat and so she now only gets fruit (and maybe a tiny cracker) in the afternoons so as not to ruin her appetite for dinner and in the mornings oats or granola with milk or toast, jam and egg.  I place a sweetie or chocolate in her lunchbox that she can have if she finishes her lunch (these days raw veggies, egg, dark bred or soup, greek pasta salad or pasta and home made ragu). And I am going out of my way to make healthy and nutritious meals for her and us. 

Despite this, she is going to bed on an empty stomach quite regularly.

At midday, I cook for our evening meal and then often end up getting myself a sandwich for lunch as I don't want to eat what I have just cooked and plan to have for dinner. But then, at dinner, my tummy too tight with stress from Emma's whining, negotiating and moaning (and sometimes spitting, throwing up in her plate, crying...) ends up being filled up with ice-cream at 10pm in front of the telly! Not healthy at all!!

On the positive side, William and Steph are eating well!

At first we thought it might just be a phase, but now it's been going on for some time and I worry about her health.  And mine!

Most of the things I have read on the Internet about this kind of attitude in children has to do with control - they exert it where they can - and Emma definitely likes to control her environment. In fact she can be quite bossy at times or "likes sharing her strong  opinions" as they put it in her school report. 

So, I really try giving her a choice;  On more than one occasion have made her exactly the dinner she had requested only to have her refuse it. I have also tried taking her food shopping and giving her choice in many other situations such as which clothes to wear, what park to go to, what game to play or music to listen to, film to watch, book to read, parent to take her to bed etc. But there are still many occasions where we need to tell her what to do when asking isn't enough; to get into the car, to put her shoes and coat on, to put her slippers on, to stop badgering William, to empty her mouth before talking, to stop interrupting, to wait... I mean she is 4,5 years old!!!)

Also, I have tried "playing it cool" and just saying "ok" when she says "I don't want this" and asking her to just stay seated until William finishes. This I find really hard. Mainly because she is ruining every single meal these days and I really am beginning to resent it.

I also think there might be a bit of jealousy involved as William is taking up more space these days as he grows older and more independent but also makes his wishes clearer too. Emma is gradually losing all the "big sister" privileges as William is increasingly capable of doing more and more (taking the school bus with her, playing more games...). Undeniably he is also demanding more attention because he gets up to mischief in the bat of an eyelash and also needs help in learning /attaining his goals. I think Emma is resenting this as well as the very little time she gets to spend alone with me. Once open and happy to see him enter her room she now closes the door and says she does not want him to make a mess in it. We always try to respect her wishes when it comes to her room/space/things but when they are in the play-room and he has got hold of a toy first, then she is asked to wait her turn to use it if they cannot share it. This is a major battle. Umph.

Anyway, going back to the food issue,  any ideas or suggestions? 

new doctors and William at 20 months

One of the key things to find when you move especially if you have any sort of medical condition and kids - are good doctors.  Hopefully I have started tackling that mountain.

Yesterday I saw 3 doctors!!! It just so happened that I got some references and my act into gear and appointments all bunched up.

The first was a gynaecologist; he was lovely as well as German, fluent in English, married to a Greek woman pediatrician, father of 3 kids, trained in Munich and ready to take the time to explain all possible contraception that might work for me. I nearly had the impression I had gone for coffee with a friend. 

The second was a very renowned endocrinologist (for my thyroid) and although I am a bit wary of the "very renowned" as they can be professor-ish and not good with patients, I really liked this one. He also took a lot of time to explain things and checked my thyroid (with his hands) and prescribed blood tests that made sense. We talk on Monday.

The third was for William - we saw his pediatrician, Poppy, for his pneumococcal vaccine. We also measured and weighed him and so we have some numbers.

William, 20 months:

• 86 cm tall
• 12,5 kg
• very smily and happy and still not very talkative except for:

1. Mamaaah 
2. Papap' 
3. Mameuuuh
4. nez (nose in French)
5. teuk (take or tiens we are not really sure and perhaps neither is he)
6. ça (this in French)
7. up (for pick up, put up, go up the stairs but also sometimes for open)
8. "co" for "encore" (more in French)
9. "haa" for hot
10. Aema (Emma)

In our case, girls are really faster talkers than boys!

What else?

• nods his head for "yes", shakes for "no"
• points and pulls you and shows you where to sit if you are not sitting in your usual place
• brings you his plate when he is hungry
• loves emptying the dishwasher and putting things away (only one glass broken so far!)
• still has the cutest walk (kind of swings his hips and shoulders like a tough bodyguard)
• at bed-time in his bed, tucks my arm under his body so I can't leave. (heart melting)

 

William this morning in the kitchen playing with the serving spoons