Potty training tribulations

A lot of the stuff I read said that one of the main reasons potty training dragged on for ages or became a nightmare was because the parents needed to be ready and dedicate time. Apparently, you need to be 100% committed and really observe your child every second, show no emotion when an accident happens and praise them to the moon when they finally do something in the potty. Sources differ on how long you should leave your child on the potty; some say until you get something from them, but most say for 5 or 10 minutes at a time but initially every 20 minutes and always after food or drink. Many say success lies in making them feel good when they pee/poo in the potty.

So after a couple of weeks of putting Emma on the potty first thing in the morning and when coming home from the park (keeping her in nappies the rest of the time) we took the leap and put her in big girl undies on Saturday. The potty was familiar, she had seen her poo before (in the potty and seen us empty the nappy into the toilet) and the prize sticker board was stuck to the bathroom window with a sheet full of colorful stickers ready to be used.


Well, as far as I'm concerned this has been the hardest most frustrating time with Emma ever.

I think she got bored with going to the potty, although we were reading books and singing songs and watching nursery rhymes on YouTube while on it, as recommended by many. After 2 days full of far more accidents than successes (there goes the positive reinforcement) I think she no longer knew what the potty was for. (Too much entertainment on the potty perhaps?)

Often, she would pee about 1 minute after we got up and had finally pulled her pants up. (A word of advice here, get undies that are as big as can be without them falling off your toddler. Emma got fed up trying to pull her undies up over her bum and kept wanting to walk off with them around her ankles. By the time we had the undies back up it was nearly time to go back to the potty!)

Despite having a garden, it's also been really hard staying in for nearly 3 full days (instead of going to the park and seeing friends as we usually do. We even kept her home from kindergarden yesterday figuring it wasn't really fair on Emma nor the staff to send her off while she was still having so many accidents.

Mostly, I have found it supremely annoying to have to ask Emma a zillion times a day to get on the potty, only to be told "Neeein Mamâân, Neeeiiin!!" and then having to find all sorts of motivating tricks to get her off, only for her to pee on the floor 30 seconds after getting up. That's the terrific two's for you I guess.


Mornings are particularly difficult: we get her up about ten minutes before her usual waking time so that her nappy is still dry and go straight to the bathroom. If her nappy is dry, she pees in the potty, no problem. We wipe her and put on some dry (not clean or dirty but wet and dry) big girl undies, empty the potty into the loo (she likes that) and stick a sticker on the board (she likes that too!). Then off we go to get dressed.

This is when things go south. While we head off to make breakfast or while she is running to the kitchen she actually pees again, and again and again - within 5 minutes. And lots too. Then today she peed again during breakfast. Every time we rush to the potty in case we can catch some pee, change undies, clean up the mess without any fuss.

I think we went through at least a dozen of undies-a-day during the first two days.

Initially, when pee landed on the floor, Emma would get a bit upset, look very worried and call me. Now she looks like she couldn't care less and comments that the puddle needs to be "nettoyé" ("cleaned up" in French). Is this "no reaction" attitude to accidents really helping?
We tell her that it's ok, that she is just peeing and that next time she should do it in the potty. But she doesn't seem to get the going to the potty part yet. Although she participates in the applause when our plastic duck toys pee in a potty (tupperware) during bath time.

Might she be too young, you ask? Indeed, I have wondered. According to my book, not, since she mostly wakes dry from naps and her nappy is even dry if we wake her in the morning which indicates some bladder control. She can also follow simple instructions, is "aware when doing a poo", is "eager to participate", can "point to the different parts of the body when you name them", has "the ability to sit and occupy herself for 5 -10 minutes"...


The one thing most sources seem to agree on is that you should be totally consistent and never put your kids back into nappies once you have removed them, however tempting (and it is, believe me!) all the while letting them sleep in their nappies until they have been dry in the day time for a couple of weeks.

My friendly neighbor whose son is 4 - 5 months older than Emma, said she waited for her son to tell her and just lets him run around naked and pee in the garden during the day (he doesnt' ever go to kindergarden). If he tells her he needs to go, she takes him to the bathroom. According to her, no training is necessary and children will learn all by themselves when the time is right, all this "training" is coercive, ruins children's "souls" and dates back to the 70's when they had no idea... This said, her son (at nearly 2,5 yrs) goes to bed in between 9pm and 11pm, sleeps in a bed attached to hers, is still breastfed, will only ride in the car if she sits in the back with him, throws all the couch cushions on the floor and jumps on them (to name but a few)...so I'm not convinced about letting the kids lead the way.

Having said that, Emma had a great time with us on this long week-end full of attention, applause, reading and stickers. So much so that she was not that eager to go back to kindergarden today. On the positive side, she made it from home to kindergarden in dry underpants. I left her with a stock of undies and trousers and hopefully the fact that other children are using the toilet will help.

Despite all the "never go back" advice, I think if we haven't made any significant progress by the end of the week, I'll give it a rest and try again in a month.

If you have any suggestions or have spotted something in our tribulations that you think I might have missed, or have any constructive advice drop a comment please!

Café Prückel & cafés in Vienna

One of the nicer sides to Vienna is it's cafés and restaurants. which we are starting to discover on our weekly adult evening out (thanks to our wonderful Italian babysitter) as well as on some Emma-free mornings.
In most cafés in the winter or when it's cold, the smoke is an issue, but right now we're able to sit out on the terraces despite the fact that it's 13°C outside and raining.
The choice is huge. A variety of cuisines. Some places are trendy, but many of them are really old, majestic in size, charming in spirit and still authentically perspiring their past with a unique appeal.

Sometimes the waiters seem to date back to the 50's too. On more than one occasion I have had the feeling of walking into the past as if through a time machine. I love being served my espresso on a little silver colored tray with the indispensable glass of water. The original linoleum counters or floors, antique lamps, shelves, coat racks and of course, tables and chairs or benches just make you feel as if you're suddenly on the set of Bewitched and Endora is going to appear in a cloud of blue smoke.

One of my favorites is Café Prückel in the first district of Vienna. It is beautiful, has high ceilings, free WIFI, an authentic 50's feel which I am fond on, lovely cakes and coffee served on silver trays by waiters dressed in black and white, lots of magazines to read and comfy chairs. Some photos below or on their website...

N.B. originally written on June 23rd but posting now...

Another potty debate

The wiping. Yeah.

As you know, I've been reading up on potty training and have pretty much settled on a method (a mix between Gina Ford's and Tracy Hoggs') which hopefully will work . So today, following Tracy Hoggs advice, we bought Emma some "big girl" undies so that she can feel wet and we can simply pull them up after having finished up on the potty (instead of having to get her up on a changing table and put another nappy on which was something I was having a hard time with).

Which brings me to my little dilemma.... after she's done her business on the potty, I need to clean her up and the "how" to that - after pee mainly - still puzzled me a bit.

Too much reading doesn't always help!

Indeed, although practically all the books specify that for hygienic reasons it's important to "wipe girls front to back" I was still sort of puzzled as how to (teach a little one to) do this. And surprisingly, being a girl myself didn't really help on this "front to back" bit if you see what I mean. (Getting a bit graphic here I realize, sorry!)

So, anyway, if you're having similar dilemmas and want an entertaining and informative (and anonymous!) read which shows there are lots of different things going on in the "wiping down there" area, please check this out. Although the videos are no longer available, the comment section is overflowing with a variety of experiences from people potty/toilet training toddlers or not.

As for us, I'm thinking, we're going to use the potty as frequently as possible (asap out of bed, before going to "school" , as soon as we get back home, before dinner, before bedtime...) for maybe another week and then go for the big girl undies during the day. Maybe I'm optimistic, but since Emma has now successfully peed & pooed in the potty a few times and is often dry after naps, I think she's getting it even though she has not so far asked to use it.
I'm still not sure what we're going to do out of the home though... I read about a portable potty and people actually keeping a potty in their car, but hopefully by then Emma will be able to "hold" and will not be too scared about using a toilet.

I'll keep you posted...

Emma's Oreos

the Oreo effect:
Cookies and milk for the first time



and...

Looks like finger-spooning the cream is totally innate

and this is supposed to be summer?

Seriously?

And it's not just gray, it's cold too.
And it's been like this for weeks with the odd sunny afternoon here and there.

I just hope it's nice and warm when we get to Geneva in a month 'cause seeing as it's quite nice there now, I would hate for us to get the autumn coolness and rain in both places if you see what I mean...
Otherwise we'll just have to head to the south of France for a while or catch a last minute to the sun somewhere.

Emma these days

She says "bonne nuit" when we put her to bed and "goûte maman" (taste it Mom) when she feeds me something.

She has chipped her big left front tooth ever so slightly, so it looks like it has a rounded bottom corner.

She'll hold out whatever part of her body she has just bumped/scratched/hurt for me to kiss better.

She carries a coat, blanket or bag around like Linus and says "meine" (mine).

She no longer wants to drink milk from her bottle or otherwise except sometimes if it has some honey in it.

She grabs my hand and pulls saying "komm! komm!" (come! come!) but doesn't always know where she wants us to go once I put down the zucchini I am peeling.

She bellows out "hall-o-o" to whoever we cross on the street or at the park and she always introduces me to whoever she is chatting to by pointing at me and saying "mamâaan" and then glancing back at them to see if they got it. She then sometimes goes on to tap her chest while exclaiming "Emma!".

She likes helping me put the laundry into the washing machine but needs help when pulling her pants (trousers) up over her nappied bum.

At the sandpit, she'll calmly walk away from a child that is scolding or pushing her because she has added more sand to their bucket or borrowed their shovel.

She loves hiding behind the curtains and screaming "ahhhh" when you pretend to be looking for her and she never lets you actually start looking for her when playing hide and seek.

Above all, she loves books - especially pop up ones although she still lacks the "delicate touch" required to manipulate them.

She can repeat "mamâââân" 1000 times without saying anything else when you answer her - as if she were checking you're there (for her).

She still can't put her shoes on by herself and hates having dirty feet.

She's definitely the centre of the world to us.

Parenting style up-date

So... I took the test to determine what is my parenting style and as it turns out here it is:




In case you're squinting at the above: My highest score is Active (43), then Autocratic (34), then Permissive (26).
Well, I was pretty sure I was not permissive and I was hoping I was more Active than Autocratic... Maybe I'll take it again in a while. I'd also like hubs to have a go at it.

Although I have to admit, at the moment I'm finding it really hard not to act autocratic when Emma ignores calls to remove her shoes, wash her hands, come to dinner etc. Sometimes the "kneel down, place hand on child's shoulder and try for eye contact as you speak" works, at others she is already meters away, off to play will her Lego or her mini kitchen and frankly couldn't care less.

Just another phase...

Sitting in the sun and peer pressure at minus 2

As you can see, Emma does not like the sound of drilling. ;-)

At the moment she is rediscovering her water bottle which she had rejected due to kindergarden peer pressure leaning towards the smaller bottles that need to be tipped to drink (i.e. there's no inner straw).

Can you believe it? Not yet two but there is already peer pressure happening! I actually had to buy her one of the "tipping required" bottles because she was constantly borrowing other childrens' and refusing to use her non-tip non-spill one. Go figure...

Anyway, nowadays Emma is increasingly drinking out of a regular plastic cup which is kind of handy.



You've got to love the warmer weather if only because it is great for water sports and experimenting with drinking out of cups -and hopefully toilet training one of these days...

What's your parenting style?

I was listening to yet another podcast of Kids in Mind (downloaded from my favorite English language Swiss radio station's website WRS) which keeps me happily entertained in traffic jams here when I cannot listen to another word of German! and Dr. Rachel Melville-Thomas (child and adolescent psychotherapist who I think is absolutely terrific!) mentioned this website and this quiz about parenting styles.

Interested? Well, I was and am about to do take the quiz... I'll let you know how it goes and what kind of style I have.

If you take the quiz, let me have your thoughts (and your results if you don't mind)!

If you have a bit more time, have a listen to some of the Kids in Minds podcasts which are really interesting ranging from "raising an only child" to "the roles of Dads", "Stepparenting", how to help your kid when confronted with a "new country, new school", aggession, homosexuality, leaving the nest, and many more...

Oh! and if your wondering how the potty training is going... Well, absolutely NO CIGAR (not one!) since my last post because Emma has changed her timing and is doing her business early afternoon when we are usually at the park or on our way back from kindergarden... I guess we'll have to wait a while...

Potty training firsts

Yesterday for the first time ever Emma pooped in her potty! Yay! (shhh! I'm actually trying to play it totally low key with her contrarily to much of the advice I have read on the web - I don't compliment her on getting her business done, nor do I clap and cheer while she is at it. So you see, the "yay" is just between us.)

Here's the story in case you're thinking of making the move too.

For some time now, the potty had been sitting in a corner of her bathroom (and the trainer toilet seat on the toilet) but Emma was absolutely not interested. Not even when I pointed the potty out as if it where a cool new toy.

Until last week the potty was just gathering dust.

Last week in Geneva, for lack of a shoe bench in our entrance, I even started using the potty as a chair where Emma could sit while I put her shoes on. And that did it. Introductions were made and the potty became part of her life. Every time we walked in, she would happily sit herself on her potty ready for her shoes to be removed and her slippers put on.
I was happy she was noticing the potty but wary she might consider it a chair.

Apart from leaving the toilet door open whenever possible and pointing out what Mum was up to, I didn't insist very much. I have been reading up on potty training, thinking that warmer days as well as Emma's growing maturity at 22 months and most importantly, the return of her "routine morning bowel movement" might make it an appropriate time for us to give it a try but it never seemed like the "appropriate time" since there was always something else going on (teething, traveling, new baby sitter, etc.).

After the first few days back at kindergarden and her sleeping patterns back on track, I figured: Why not?

So yesterday after her breakfast and a cuddle I asked her if she would like to use the potty. Off we went armed with a basket full of books. I pointed to the toilet with the soft and colorful trainer toilet-seat and she responded her usual "nein!" followed by a firm "no" so we turned to the potty. That was more like it! In a minute, there she was on the potty (no nappy and pants down) and me on the floor singing "the wheels on the bus" and "this old man". Every once in a while Emma would hand me a different book and stood up twice to give me a "bisou" (kiss) which she is big on at the moment. After about 10 minutes we were all done.
I wasn't too sure about how to go about the wiping and putting a clean nappy on since she was standing, but we managed. (I think pull up nappies would be the best option but unfortunately the kindergarden won't have them.)

After she was all dressed again, Emma came back to the bathroom and pointed to her poop in the potty, commenting something incomprehensible to me but she seemed very pleased with herself. We washed hands and brushed her teeth and I dashed back to empty the potty and clean up after she had left the bathroom having read that flushing a kids' "production" in front of them was not the appropriate thing to do .

We did it again today just as simply. Still not quite sure about "after part" since I would like to avoid lying her on her changing table again to put a clean nappy on, but it's hard to put a standard nappy on her while she is standing...
So if you have any ideas or tips on how to handle the clean nappy bit I'd be really interested.

More reading on the subject:

Potty donts
Potty training readiness video

According to HR Consultancy Mercer Quality of living 2009 survey (for criteria* read this post by Op-Expat Britta, I was unable to find it on the Mercer site) Vienna was ranked N° 1 city for Expats in terms of quality of life beating 2007 & 2008 winner Zurich (now at 2nd place) and Geneva (was already at 3rd place).

Well, well, well...Looks like we've lived in 2 of the top five cities so far. That explains why we're always so damn hard to please: Our standards are high through experience!
How amazing - but how wonderful really- that I never even think about security being an issue. Umph. Lucky lucky us.

As it happens, we're off to Geneva today.

Emma photo-update: the ice-cream effect

From very lady-like

to... ahem! Not quite sure what, but get those shoes of the cushions please!!!

2 (and a bit) more years to go!

I'm sort of throwing this down in the hope of remembering to dig it out when Emma is old enough to play - in the meantime I might just do some with Steph if he's willing to indulge me... (or rather if we find the time).

What am I talking about?

I read this post and was particularly delighted at the "nine" part of it by Catherine's son Ben and his friend Ava.

It's a hilarious and magical mad lib and I had no idea this is what they were called although I remember playing a version of these in my early teens with French speaking friends and finding it really fun. Hilarious sometimes, actually.

So, if your kids are old enough to play - at least 4 I think - give yourself and them a laugh and do some Mad libs!

Turkish escapade and the secret is in the room-service

So... we're back from our Turkish escapade

Four flights in four and a half days was pretty ambitious but it was well worth it and the Turkish hospitality and love of children helped a lot.

It was really fantastic to be able to pop by* Izmir and enjoy coffee or lunch with friends and walk the city centre again. It sort of felt as if I'd never left -except for Emma and other new babes of course -living proofs that time has gone by. It's hard to believe it has been nearly 2 years since I was there!!
The other "reminder" were the really nice developments in the city including the brand new Swissotel Grand Efes with its beautiful gardens, pool and terraces and some lovely new shops and parks.
Ah, the lovely cafés, terraces and sun. Ah, the böreks, gözleme, and manti... I have missed you.

As soon as we landed in Izmir, Emma was right in her element, receiving balloons from the hotel staff who played with her every chance they got.
We also discovered a side to Izmir I had no interest for at the time we were there: colorful childrens' parks in cool shade. The fact that we were staying right in the centre made things much easier and Emma had mid-day siesta's after her lunch and got to bed on-time despite us running out to coffee, lunch or the park in between. It was really nice and I am so happy we did it.

I've decided that taking a break at a place you know offers the best of both worlds ; you get the feeling of familiarity and although it's a holiday you also get the benefit of knowing your way around and having friends to spend time with. As far as I'm concerned, those are huge advantages when traveling with a toddler and making stays so short as we tend to do. Another significant advantage was the fact that we weren't staying in our own home/with friends/family. More on that later.

Istanbul was fun too, but the terrible traffic** put a damper on it for me. On Friday evening, we spent more time in jam from Ataturk airport to the Ritz Carlton than we did flying in from Izmir! A metro running under the Bosphorus is due to be completed in 2010 but locals seem to think that you would need at least ten of those to make a real difference in traffic.

On Saturday morning we went for a stroll around Taksim and for a walk in Bebek along the shores of the Bosphorus in the afternoon. After a short stop in the children's park, we wanted to have a coffee in quaint Ortaköy, but the bumper to bumper traffic totally put us off stopping there on our way back to the hotel.

On Sunday morning, we enjoyed a yummy hotel breakfast then strolled through Taksim and enjoyed a quick lunch at the House café in Tünel before heading back to the hotel.

Amazing how life, and travel in particular, with an infant or toddler is dictated by meal/nap/bed-times, isn't it? If you try to stick to them, that is. It's a very personal choice, but I always do my utmost to respect Emma's routine 'cause she is so much happier - hence so are we - when she is rested and properly fed. Nothing new there, but there was a bit of a revelation for me during this trip perhaps because it was a first since Emma was born : room service is absolutely brilliant! Even more so when you have kids. I thought we'd miss going out in the evenings trying to keep with Emma's bedtimes but instead it ended up being a plus.

(in case you hadn't noticed, this is no longer a post about Istanbul or Izmir or friends... but if you're a Mom you might want to read on)

Because the tiring thing about kids, is not the kids. It's trying to shop, cook, do the dishes, clean, tidy, change sheets, do/hang/fold/iron laundry, shower, be inspired, have a social life, make time and mental space and find the energy for partner/friends, answer emails, do the paperwork, go to the doctor/dentist/ophtalmologist, school/playdate find parking (I could go on forever, but you know the drill) all the while your little one is yelling, hiding things in cupboards, banging on the door, jumping on the bed, calling out your name mantra-like, pulling at your leg, pinching your thigh etc. and then finding the energy to play. That's what tires me.

I loved getting back to the hotel and just calling up room service to order dinner and then playing with Emma until it arrived, bouncing the balloons off my head with various sound effects making her giggle to tears. It was so much fun! After dinner, calling in-room dining for them to pick up the trolly while I settled Emma down in her pyjamas and sang her songs was just as relaxing.
No "what shall I cook tonight?" no rushed shopping, cooking washing up in-between the singing, playing, pampering, feeding, before the bathing, playing, changing, singing etc. No trying-to-do-it-all-at-once-is-making-me-feel-exhausted -and-inefficient-and-in-a-moment-I-am-going-to-become-very-impatient.
Instead, looking forward to a meal while being able to be 100% available and then a full tummy and inspiration and energy. Pause, sigh. The good life.

Can you believe Emma is enjoying in-room dining at the Ritz-Carlton and she is not even two?
In case you're wondering she is eating onion soup! and our room had sealed windows!!!

Now Emma has an eye infection and my sinuses are killing me so we'll enjoy each others company full time -without the room-service- for a few more days until she's healthy enough to go back to kindergarden .

A learning? If it's getting to be too much and you're going to blow a fuse: Stop trying to do it all, serve yourself a drink and chips (get some healthy-ish aperitif snack out for your toddler if you must) and play while you wait for the water to boil and make penne with you favorite Ricotta speciale sauce and serve strawberry yogurt for desert. The laundry can wait and everyone will go to bed happier.

*we stayed a total of about 30 hours arriving Thursday morning and departing Friday early evening

** with a population of nearly 20 million and huge amount of cars!

Emma update & Happy Easter

and here we go on another Emma update. So what's new?

Emma:
- has a mole!!! One single one on her otherwise perfectly white and unblemished skin
- has discovered the sand pit - à mon grand regret - and is bringing part of it back home
- might have some mysterious Portuguese origins: She says "déjaou" for "descendre" (to get down - from the chair for example - in French)
- is learning to kick a ball in our garden and loves going down the slide (or "rutschen" in German)


- likes fruit tea at kindergarten but not at home where she only drinks water and milk (apparently this is the way it is...)


- seems to always have things in both hands and is usually missing a third one to grab hold of more things... (genes, genes, what can I say... or maybe I'm totally retarded!)
- loves splashing in the bath, making faces to herself in the mirror and is increasingly interested in her belly button
- likes pointing out who is in the picture (I keep some in my handbag 'cause it's a great activity when trying to keep her sitting at the table while the meal is brought to us)

- likes croissants

- and Easter hunts

HAPPY EASTER!!!!

for more of our Easter pics click here

We're off to the thermal baths of Lutzmannsburg...

Bad, bad gardeners parents

We decided it was time to get our garden sorted out with the good weather finally looking like it was going to stick around for more than a hopeful minute and a half at 6am.

So we got our lawn mowed, brought out our garden furniture (the teak badly needed cleaning and oiling) and we bought two plants and potted them.

Meet, Rhododendrum

... and Azalea

This is what they are supposed to look like once they bloom.

Pretty right? Turns out... both Rhododendrum and Azalea are toxic!


So far, Emma has shown absolutely no interest in these plants but still... I can't say I feel great having these on both sides of our summer couch.

Soup for dinner and in the garden

As you can see Emma's appetite is back!

Just as good, she is wearing short sleeves and eating dinner outside in early April.

I love having dinner out in the garden as the sun gentle sets and we can enjoy its warmth. Oh, Izmir weather I miss you!

With each sunny day that goes by we are more adamant that our next destination as expats has to be a sunny one where we can swim and sunbathe and play outside more than 5-6 months a year!

Good bye winter coats, hats and shoes!

Finally, SPRING!

sunshine ✓
t-shirt ✓
sun-hat ✓
socked feet (no stockings for Emma!) ✓
garden furniture out ✓


Yay! It's FINALLY SPRING!!!!

Easter Party at kindergarden

Today, there was an Easter Party at Emma's day care center (kindergarden or school as we call it).

First parents were sat down to watch the "show" about the very hungry caterpillar where all the kids played the caterpillar (while the teachers sang) eating away at the apples, pears, strawberries, then the yummy alka seltzer leaf before building a cocoon around himself and finally turning into a beautiful butterfly.
After the show and since the sun was out, we all went up to the roof and searched for the Easter eggs hidden in the strawberry bushes, trampolines and other attractions, ate cake and drank tea and played with the kids.

Unfortunately, I just filmed the waiting-for-the-last-late-parent-bit before we all sat down for the show (and vertically!), but it gives you an idea of the atmosphere and the good mood Emma was in now that she has fully recovered.



Each parent/child got an small Easter basket to take home carrying the real painted chicken egg and a couple of chocolate ones in colorful wrapping paper they had found during the egg hunt. Emma insisted on carrying her little basket all the way home. After at least a dozen falls, and trying to feed a dog some of her feast, not much of the eggs was left ...except on her fleece jacket, scarf and jeans.



Anyway, it was fun.

Sunny weather

Saturday we finally had some sunny weather and so we headed to town and came across some Easter markets (they seem to have markets for many occasions here)

with lots and lots of painted eggs


We even went out without a coat for the first time in a really long time...


but just to make sure we didn't rejoice too much, it was raining and cold again today...


Oh, and some more good news is that Emma was more open to being entertained/fed/put to bed by her father and less clingy in general. Yippee!

Emma eating banans

Upon arriving in Geneva (March 6th 2009), bananas for tea and who are we going to see?

Mamma mia!

After the "non, non, non!" phase... we proudly present "Mamma mia!" or "maaamôn!"

Emma has not been a particularly clingy baby or toddler; her curiosity was always stronger than her separation anxiety and she has so far demonstrated a strong sense of security and confidence.
She has often stared at and analyzed new faces, greeted strangers in the street, sometimes even turning around to follow them. Playing on her own for about 20 minutes while I showered or had coffee in the morning was not really an issue and she has often sat in her high chair pouring endless cups of pretend tea while I chop veggies, the two of us attempting Ba-ba black sheep or Frêres Jacques a cappella.

Then, we went to Geneva for ten days.

Despite frequent visits from family and friends, baths and meals in good company and a few hours spent with family on her own, the two of us spent a lot of time together since there was no Kindergarden to provide both of us with "social interaction with peers".

We came back and all of a sudden it was "maaamôn!" five trillion times a day. Because she had a fever and the runs, I figured she wanted the added attention and cuddles 'cause she wasn't feeling well, but now I'm so sure.

Emma, who frequently wanted out of her pushcart, now wants to be pushed around and refuses to walk: she stands lifting her arms towards me indicating she wants to be carried or tries to scramble into her Maclaren on her own. In fact, she does not want to leave home without it!
On the rare occasions when she will walk, she will run off in the opposite direction chuckling. (I have stopped playing chase the toddler which she loved but I think she was not able/or willing to distinguish play from walking back from school.)Patience, patience... I'm sure she's testing me for something.

When she is in her high-chair she wants out and when she is outshe wants up. She even wants me to carry her insideat home. The little toddler who used to go fetch a book and "read" on the kitchen floor now wines and tugs at my pant-leg "maaamôn-ing" me constantly.

When the pediatrician tried to listen to her heart beat while she was sitting on my lap (and after having listened to the heart beats of the mummy kangaroos and the baby kangaroos on her desk at least 3 times) Emma got so upset and desperately clung on to me yelling as if she were drowning. She was utterly inconsolable and we didn't even manage to weigh her. This is the first time going to the pediatrician was a fuss.

Now, if I am around, even when her Dad tries to take her off to bed or feed her milk she pushes him away calling "maamôn" and she screams and screams if she does not get her way - something she never used to do.
When I do give her the bottle, she stops sucking every thirty seconds or so to look me in the eyes and say "mamôn". Initially, it was kind of sweet but after the first trillion times, it's rather irritating. What do I do? Well, if I'm there, I reply "oui Emma" or "oui, maman est là". If I can't attend to her at that moment I explain that I hear her but that I am washing the dishes/making dinner/whatever and that I will come when I am done. Sometimes I try to distract her by asking her to bring me a tupperware or help me put the laundry in the dryer. It seems to work for a little while but sure enough she's at it five minutes later.

Yesterday, after her Dad and I kissed hello, and I was carrying Emma to high-chair she repeatedly tried to kiss me on the mouth, maneuvering my face with both her hands on my cheeks and her mouth aiming for mine. It was actually quite funny but managing not to laugh, I decided to give her a few noisy kisses on the cheek and plonk her down for dinner.

Thankfully, there is no fuss at all when we drop her off at kindergarden in the mornings. She is still curious and greets stargers in the street and will joyfully run ahead in the park towards the swings, but at home, it is a pretty hard ballgame at the moment. I really hope it's just a phase. And I can't wait for the weather to get better so we can get out more!

the weather in Vienna and weekly round-up

The weather in Vienna is nice and bright if you're up at 6am (like when I get up to go to my electric therapy for my wrist)- after that it's just:

Grey

The building en face is nearly finished and so we are hoping for a relatively quiet garden to enjoy this year -once the weather gets better and warm spring starts! (why do we seem to be haunted by construction sites, huh?)

I made the best ever ginger, celeriac and sweet-potato soup! All the more for me, since Emma would not even taste it preferring a "bouillon de poule" (note: she calls soup, "poots" and I don't think that's German).


Emma has had high fever for the past 2 days (too early to know about today yet) and we haven't quite figured out why. Only symptoms are fever, slight crankiness, mild dürchfall (diarrhea) although her appetite is as usual. Could be stomach flu or last teeth coming out. Luck would have it: it's the week-end so I hope it doesn't get any worse!

Yay! She now like clementines! another fruit is always good especially since practically all vegetables are totally "has-been".

Oh, and she now calls her dummy/pacifier the "looola"! Really quite nice, don't you think? but I don't think that's a symptom.

Animals and their babies - how many do you know?

I can't believe the French language (the language we have chosen to speak at home and teach Emma) is so complicated!

Emma is really into animals at the moment, both in real life and into naming them when she spots them in whatever form (pictures or drawings in books, stuffed animals in shop windows, etc.).
Anyhow, we saw a bambi sticker on the wall of a kid's café/shop and I couldn't remember the name of the beast for the life of me. So, I googled it this morning and came up with the below list in French and then tried to recall the names in English. Woah! Not good.
Am I the only one?

1. un chien, une chienne et un chiot ; dog, bitch, puppy
   
2. un chat, une chatte et un chaton ; cat, cat, kitten
3. un dauphin, une dauphine et un dauphineau ; dolphin, dolphin and baby dolphin?
4. un éléphant, une éléphant et un éléphanteau ; elephant, elephant and baby elephant?
5. un lapin, une lapine et un lapereau ; rabbit, female rabbit, baby rabbit?
6. un lion, une lionne et un lionceau ; lion, lion, lion cub
7. un loup, une louve et un louveteau ; I'm guessing wolf, no idea, wolf cub
   
8. un ours, une ourse et un ourson ; bear, bear, bear cub
9. un renard, une renarde et un renardeau ; fox, vixen baby fox
10. une souris, une souris et un souriceau ; seriously? a mouse
11. un tigre, une tigresse et un tigron ;
12. un zèbre, une zèbresse et un zébreau ; I give up!
    
13. un bélier, une brebis et un agneau ;
14. un bouc, une chèvre et un chevreau ;
15. un cerf, une biche et un daim ; ummm bambi?
16. un cheval, une jument et un poulain ; stallion, mare, pony turns out a baby horse is either a foal (m) or a filly (f)
17. un homme, une femme et un enfant ; oh! I know this one! a man, a woman, a child
18. un lièvre, une hase et un levraut ; buck, doe, leveret (I had to look this one up!)
19. un porc, une truie et un porcelet ; boar, sow, piglet

(source of the French ones: Journal de Cooker: Tergiversations psychoquantiques)

Initially I was thinking the English equivalents were pretty easy , "elephant, elephant, baby elephant" right? and for the more complex ones dog, bitch, puppy...
but I started going down the list and decided I needed to look it up and it turns out English is not only more complex than I thought - although who the hell uses this terminology outside of a biology class or a farm? - but also very confusing... For example, did you know that a cow could also be a female elephant and a cub the baby tiger, baby lion or baby bear?
Ahh! this is just another humbling moment when you know you're just not going to know the answer to the questions your kids ask so start getting used to it. Plus, there are more important things to teach in life, right?
Still, I better get cracking before we hit the zoo as soon as it stops snowing!!! (yes, snowing on March 20th people when is spring coming to Vienna?!)

If you are as clueless as I was on the list above, check out the site by Enchanted learning where you can also download animals for coloring and games for your kids (or you) where you can pair up the adult animals with their babies.

Electrical therapy

A couple of months ago, I started feeling pain in my left wrist. Carrying/picking up/putting down Emma a zillion times a day (not to mention getting her into her car seat and pram while she twists and wriggles) had started to take its toll.

The last couple of weeks, it got so bad I couldn't even lift a freakin' frying pan so I instead of giving up cooking altogether, asked Emma's pediatrician if she knew of a good osteopath in the area.

Fast forward to Monday morning: after waiting for an hour (at 9h30 am!!!) I get to see the Frau Doktor H. who after a couple of questions, fiddles with my wrist and then with a smooth wave-like motion chinks some small bone back to mobility. Ta-da. She wiggles my wrist some more and checks that, yes, it feel less painful.

Not done though. She taps her keyboard while staring into her computer and sips some tea. She then tells me I am to have 10 sessions of therapy after which I am to see her again. I'm a bit surprised since I have a long-standing relationship with an osteopath and there was never any follow up therapy.
When asked, she says I am to go to the front desk to make the appointments and that her assistants will be giving me the therapy which is necessary because the bone has been left stuck for a long time. (Note to self: get to the osteopath asap next time!)

As I leave the room having thanked her and said "good-bye" she gratifies me with a "You're welcome" and shouts out "Nächste!" (next). I tell you, bedside manner or customer service could compete with the levels achieved by communism. (Am I totally spoiled because my doctor in Geneva always comes to get me in the waiting room with a warm smile and an extended arm?)

Whatever... she fixed my wrist, and was by no means the gruffest Dr. I've met here, so off I go, adamant to make the appointments earlier so I won't have to spend half my free time in a doctor's waiting room for the next 10 days...
As it turns out, early in Vienna is 7am!!
Ok - fine I'll do it if it means no waiting, fine. If Steph is around, he'll get Emma up, dressed and fed and I'll be back in time to take her to kindergarden. If he's not - well, I'll have to reschedule.
Oh, and I am asked to bring a towel or I will be charged 1.- Euro for one. Ummm...

So, Tuesday morning bright and early I head in for my therapy, expecting some sort of massage...
I am told to go to room N°2 and after a wrong turn and some re-routing in simplified German, I arrive in a room subdivided into about 20 cabins divided only by blueish dingy curtains that remind me of my student hall in London. Each subdivision, or "cabin" if you will, contains a camp-bed, a chair, a coat hanger and some kind of electronic instrument that looks like a very old-fashioned radio receiver...I also note the burn marks on the sheet of the camp-bed. Ummm...


I take a seat on the chair in my cabin and soon enough a lady in blue dungarees muffling "Guten Morgen" takes my prescription sheet from me and clips it onto the curtain with a laundry peg. After peering at it over her specs, she walks off and a couple of minutes later appears pushing another radio-receiver-like machine on a cart and squirts translucent gel onto my wrist. First the ultra-sound she says. Huh?
Oh, but it's not the kind they do when you are pregnant 'cause there is no screen. It doesn't hurt so I go along with it. 10 minutes of her rolling it on my wrist later, the radio-receiver-ultra-sound-providing machine beeps and she wipes the remaining gel off my wrist.

She rolls the ultra-sound cart away and comes back with what look like orange dish-cloths (the ones you wipe your kitchen counter with). Turns out they are orange dish cloths and they are wet. She tells me to remove my ring and reaches behind me to the first radio-receiver and pulls out some electrical cables. As if this were the most natural thing in the world, she sandwiches my hand between the cloths and pegs the electricity on to them. Ummm... I'm beginning not to feel so confident about this. Isn't water conductive?

In the end it was ok, a slight tingle and a rash on my hand for a couple of hours was all... I didn't get electrocuted or anything...

As it turns out, this kind of therapy is used for the relief of acute pain (back, wrist, knee, you name it) and what I did not see the first time was that there is a piece of paper coated in medical substances in between the orange kitchen cloths. The electricity is used to enable deeper penetration of the substance and the ultrasound apparently improves circulation.
There you have it. It was news to me, but it seems to be working.

Titties

I knew the Germans where into kinky sex - I recall a trip to Munich during high school - but Austrians? and in your neighborhood high street? Seriously?!

Titties but no nipples

having a second child... or not?

To have N° 2 or not to have N° 2... that is the question which is hovering in our household and on my mind these days.

I am going to be 36 in 3 months. My husband is 2 years younger. Emma is 19 months old. We love her to bits. Hopefully we will be staying in Vienna long enough not to have to move with a new-born again unless we wait too long.... but I can't say we are currently in a great big hurry to do anything about having N° 2.

Before I got pregnant with Emma, and looking at friends' kids, I thought 2 or 3 years difference was not small. Now I'm thinking more along the lines of "as long as it's under 4" (um.. or under 40). In my defense, should I need one, the Viennese winter with a toddler is about the most "I don't want to do this with two" inducing environment there is.

There is also the fact, that I can't help feeling that I am only just now enjoying some "me-time". Well, since she started kindergarden last autumn, really. Although, I realize I have said this a few times since she was 6 months old. With each milestone (full night's sleep, sitting, crawling, eating on her own, walking...) come some challenges but also more independence and more interesting occupations and activities for both of us.
Emma is now walking and talking a bit. She goes to kindergarden in the mornings and we do stuff together in the afternoons (playing, reading, park-going, but also the occasional food shopping at the market, cooking dinner, stuffing the wet laundry into the dryer...).

I like my own time. I like doing Pilates twice a week, having time to walk the streets of Vienna lost in my thoughts and observations, being able to go to a trendy café even if it's a bit smoky for a chat and a panino. I like taking some time to read my emails and visit other blogs, or read the paper on-line with a home made latte sprinkled with grated chocolate.
I also like the fact that when I am with Emma I can spend quality time with her because I have had my own time in the morning (reading, walking, writing, painting, shopping, talking, seeing friends, doing sports, whatever...).

It took me a while to realize that it was a lot less frustrating for me (and no doubt for her) if I did one thing at a time properly. One hours' play then one hours' cooking while Emma places stones in moulds with me in the kitchen. Then 30 minutes "reading" together while the meal simmers, and 20 minutes "Neighborhood animals" for Emma while her Dad and I have a chat. Then her dinner time, bath time, bed-time... We've got a routine going. Most of the time, it runs pretty smoothly.

I now find it much harder to function with the lack of sleep if she has a couple of bad nights due to a blocked nose or teething and find it absolutely exhausting having her home all day (when she is sick). In fact, I cannot imagine that I did it for nearly 15 months. I have grown accustomed to my comfort once again.

Admittedly, when babes are babies you can walk them around the shops, take them to lunch with your friends or with you practically everywhere and they will sleep/feed pretty easily. But what when you have a babe and a toddler? You can no longer nap when your babe naps to compensate for your night breastfeeding. You can no longer sip latte's on sunny terraces while your babe snoozes in the shade and enjoy a chat with a friend... You need to plan for two totally different ages/needs and try not to forget yourself... Yikes!


It's hard 'cause I feel the pressure of age (mine), and time passing by. I feel the pressure of the "if you wait too long you might not want to have a second" or another truism: "you might not get pregnant again right away...". I worry that the second will take away from Emma and our quality of life. I absolutely hated feeling torn in between my dog's needs and Emma's as a tiny babe. Constantly trying to satisfy both and failing miserably yet feeling constantly stressed and tired. I know I will hate feeling torn in between two of my children. Right now, I cannot see the benefits. Interestingly, hubs and I are rather aligned on this, although our alternate ups and downs aren't necessarily simultaneous.

Most importantly, I really wanted Emma. I loved discovering we were pregnant. Loved being pregnant with her (except for the last month where I was totally fed up and impatient to meet her) and loved having her. I don't feel that way yet about a second child. Maybe I will, if we wait a while longer. Maybe I won't and then we'll see.
I think you need to want a child. And as long as that's not the case we can discuss and think it over endlessly but it won't make me feel I want it.
So... like a friend of mine said in other circumstances entirely, "ask me after the summer!" and let's enjoy the spring and another birthday as a threesome.

For more reading on the subject: having a second child