2 days left but does he know it?

Well, it's Sunday morning and theoretically, baby is due in 2 days but does he know it?!

On Thursday I did my last Preggie-Pilates class and my trainer J. said she thought the baby would come over the week-end now that my Mum was going to be here. I confirmed that indeed that would be the best time since Steph and Emma and my Mum would all be around, plus the sun was due to be coming out finally!

On Friday, I had my last Shiatsu session for a while, and M. my wonderful practioner said she had a sensed the baby was ready and would be coming within 24-48hours. Yay! Indeed, the week-end was a good time, I agreed. Why not after a good night's sleep and filling brunch?

Yesterday was Saturday and apart from baby seeming unusually quiet and not moving much I could not feel anything happening at all.
We walked around the area so as to familiarize my Mum with the surroundings. We walked down to our favorite market and had coffee, bread & jam and scrambled eggs with parmesan, dried tomatoes and ham in the sun.

We played in the sand-pit with Emma and "ate" her preparations and "drank" her coffee.

We had a yummy mixed salad for lunch and a nice nap afterwards.

I printed out the address labels of family and friends so they are ready to be stuck on to envelopes when we have Gerburtskarten to send off.

I gave my Mum a map of the area and have explained to her how the coffee machine and TV work.

Late afternoon, we went to town and had cakes and tea at Café Diglas and then saw an entertaining movie before coming home.

We skipped dinner and after a brief chat, beer & nuts for some and yogurt and water for me, we went to bed for a read and a good night's sleep... perhaps our last in a little while?

Well, now it's Sunday morning and Emma is in her Gogo's bed being read to (the Gruffalo is a current favorite), Steph is under the shower and I am typing away while sipping my Vata and waiting for the oats to cook.
Baby is due in two days, but does he know it?

Pregnant again

I have a secret that wants to explode out of me so although I'm writing this on Thursday August 13th, I'm pretty sure you won't be reading it for a while. Never mind! I have to let it out.

I think we're preggers again!!!

Not sure yet - still very early days- and the Clear blue test was not 100% clear so I'll have to redo it in a few days. But...

Much more reliable are the facts that:

• I'm peeing more often
• I wake up starving
• My boobs are tight and feel like I am a teenager once again
• I'm totally pooped by the time I get Emma into bed at 8pm.
  

All symptoms I recall from nearly three years ago when I was in the early stages of being preggie with Emma (who at that time had no name except "bebek" i.e. baby in Turkish since that was where we were living in the second half of 2006).

So exciting!!!

Anyway, I've booked an appointment with a gynae in 10 days time so by then we should know more.

A part from it being very exciting news in itself I am over the moon with the fact that the timing would be (is?) perfect! A Spring baby, just in time to enjoy the nice weather in Vienna without having to go through summer pregnancy. Plus, if my last pregnancy is anything to go by, I will be a lot less cold this winter. Yay!!!
And the age difference in between Emma and N° 2 is good too - by then she will be getting dressed on her own, speaking much more clearly and hopefully will not feel kicked out of the crib as it were.

I wonder... boy or girl? I was petty sure Emma was going to be a girl but right now, I don't have an inkling (yet).
Steph is in favor of another girl, having declared after an afternoon at the park watching some boys play, that boys were silly. (In actual fact, I'm quite sure he likes having a little Princess and finds the frequent teenage power struggle in between boys and Dads a bit daunting. Plus, he is convinced girls are easier and gets depressed at the thought of not re-using all of Emma's tiny clothes. ) As for me, I don't think I have a preference, as long as he/she is healthy and happy and it all goes smoothly.

Ohhh. I can barely sit still I am so excited! HOW am I going to be able to wait for another 10 days before knowing for sure?!!!


Oh, and yes, this was planned - or rather we had decided that we wanted to have a second babe as of Emma's 2nd birthday. Pretty quick ey?


Saturday, August 15th

We are definitely expecting N° 2!!!
After the not so clear result on the previous test I decided to
a) wait a couple of days until my period was officially due
b) use a digital test that actually tells you whether or not you are pregnant in so many words... and ta-da!


We are preggers! 2 weeks since conception and 1 month since my last period. 1 month preggers and 8 more to go!

My feelings?
Im-pa-tient! However did I manage to wait 9 months before meeting Emma?
Can't wait to see the gynae next week so I can meet her (hope she's nice and good and will see me through the whole bit) and basically be reassured everything is as it should be (I am 36 you know!)
Can't wait till the second trimester when I will feel boosted by all the hormones and stop feeling tired!
Oooohhhh. Im-pa-tient!

Friday 21st

Well, we've told family and close friends and though it was great doing so, now I wonder if we should not have waited until Monday. The Monday (meeting the gynae) just around the corner!

Today, I can't help thinking I was much more excited when I found out I was expecting Emma... Maybe 'cause she was my first? Maybe 'cause I saw the doctor right away and hence could rejoice knowing everything was ok? Maybe 'cause now I know the pregnancy is only the beginning, whereas the first time round the birth seems like your goal (end)? Maybe 'cause I was so focused on her (the belly) not having a child to care for in the house?
I don't want to feel blasé about this pregnancy but I am so relaxed about it I often forget about it entirely. Hopefully once I start seeing a belly, I will feel it is more real.

Sinon...:
I'm still feeling tired but my hunger is less voracious.
I think my jeans feel tighter already. Oh-oh.
I've ordered some kaki colored Croc boots in case my feet swell again and I can't get anything else on - perfect for the park!



Saturday 22nd

Today we are 6 weeks pregnant! (counting from the first day of my last period i.e. Gestational pregnancy) Only 7,5 months to go!!! Yay!!!
Oh, and I found some interesting reading on feelings during a second pregnancy


Sunday August 23rd

We're thinking of names already, seeing as it took us forever to find a name we both liked for Emma... and I found this gallery of popular names by country which could come in pretty handy. It's nice 'cause it has a small selection of boys and girls names per country instead of the zillion or so you find on most sites. Tomorrow is D-day: we meet the gynae and hopefully have some more information etc. From what I have calculated on my own, next Tuesday we reach 6 weeks of Gestational pregnancy whereas Fetal age is just over 3weeks. (Usually there is only a two week difference in between the two, but my menstrual cycles tend to be on the longish side at 33 or so days so there you have it). This probably means we'll have to wait until we return from Croatia to hear a heartbeat and start talking dates. Oh well.



Monday, August 24th

I've just come back from the gynae's and am over the moon to be able to say she was professional and nice and reassuring - Yay!!!! and Pheew! I feel a lot better now that I know we are in good hands!
As for the babe, well, all is as it should be. Estimated due date for now is April 20-21st. We'll know more in a couple of weeks after our next ultrasound.

Pre-preggers body...

well, uh, getting there...

Today for the first time I was able to button up a pair of jeans I owned and wore way before I got pregnant. YAY!!!

OK, so it doesn't fit me in the same way it used to... This particular pair of Levis (W30 L30) was my baggiest pair and it now fits me rather snuggly... BUT the IMPORTANT thing is I can button it up all the way without any tricks or belts or tummy wraps... and I can actually breathe! (I wore them all day, and if you know me at all, you know I cannot stand anything tight for over 3 minutes)

Not too bad five weeks after giving birth, huh? Not that I can take any credit for this, but nevertheless, it's encouraging!

Still, I look forward to the day my joints (and especially my knees and feet) will feel more like they did before the relaxin hit them... soon I hope!

No Champagne... yet!

Just in case you were wondering whether our train had come in...Nope, no cigar, champagne, mademoiselle yet. Not even an inkling.

Too bad, I kind of liked the 27.07.2007 but, hey, tomorrow would be fine too....

Anyhow, it was nice to be able to go to my third aqua-gym class and enjoy a dinner for two with my honey.

Tomorrow is another day....

Off to enjoy a full night's sleep!

2 days left....but does she know it? also: from Izmir to Vienna via Geneva and a pad in France

Well into week 39 and I have totally had enough of being pregnant thank you very much.
According to the very first due date we were given (27th July) there are 2 days left. We were also given August 4th as EDD which takes us to Saturday next week.
Honestly, the past 4 weeks have seemed longer than the previous 8 months!

It's a bit of a shame really as I hadn't found it at all difficult to be pregnant until then. On the contrary. Now days I'm finding it no fun at all and my looking-forward-to-meeting-you-baby feeling has been superseded by a can't-bloody-wait-to feel lighter/ able-to-breathe/sleep /feel stable on my feet - longing.

A shame. But I guess that also means that I'm not thinking about giving birth as something daunting, rather like something vital and liberating. De-li-ve-ry. I've never liked that wording in English, but I guess it's not far from what I think I will feel.

So, a part from that, I might mention that we are now temporarily in Geneva and have been for just over a month.
Our house in Izmir is no longer ours at all and our belongings -including baby's room- are traveling around Europe somewhere and hopefully heading towards Vienna. Mmmm.
Vienna. Yup, that's where were moving to next. Sometime this autumn.

In the meantime we're expecting baby and doing our best not to feel too "SDF" as the French say (=sans domicile fixe, literally "without fixed abode" according to the Inter Active Terminology for Europe dictionary) - To be honest and hopefully not sound ungrateful, although we are lucky enough to be in a city where we are able to stay with family members, have friends and know our way around, I've had moments where I've found it rather unsettling to be expecting a baby and be in between locations/jobs at this moment in time.

I guess this is where you feel how stable you feel as a person and a couple. Boy, am I glad we didn't do this a couple of years ago; life treats you with what you can handle, thankfully. But back to us doing our best so as not to feel totally nomad. A huge contribution to putting down some kind of roots has been the decision followed by the opportunity of finding and buying a small flat in near by France (about 15 minutes to down town Geneva with a gorgeous view of fields and the lake). Yay!


We're swamped in paper work and catalogs (choosing tiles, etc.) and it probably won't be ours until September, but it's a super exciting project and really nice to know that somewhere in the world we'll have a HQ / base / pad.
Happy me.

A good thing the sales are now on....Checking out plates, cutlery and furniture in various places has definitely helped keep my mind off my bladder's decreasing capacity to guarantee any kind of serious autonomy, as well as kept me away from buying baby clothes galore.

And baby, you're welcome any time now, really... I'm sure you're quite happy in there and all, but there are loads of people waiting to meet you outside my belly. It's time to come out and have a look at the outside world now.

Oh Boy! it's a Girl! Not?

Since the moment I was noticeably pregnant, not once has someone here asked me "Are you expecting a girl?" Quite the opposite in fact, most people greeted me with "You're expecting a boy?"

Having picked up on the fact that (for most) it was clearly a desirable thing to have a boy, (and noticed that announcements of us expecting a girl were either met with apologetic mimics and shrugs as if implying "better luck next time" or reactions of surprise as if their "guessing method" could not fail them) I took these "affirmestions" (a boy right?) to be rather sexist wishful thinking.

Granted, some people "guessed" the gender of baby according to the shape of my belly (to be honest, I'm still not clear on this- what shape is supposed to indicate what?) but no matter the "method" applied, the guessing always seemed to lead people to believe we were expecting a boy.

Yes, in this country one could say that a female child is more likely to become a "cost centre" whereas a male child is more likely to earn money and contribute to the family's welfare... but I personally believe it has more to do with an inherent belief that a boy is simply better. As simple as that. Umph. I won't even dignify this with further anything.

Anyway, the other day in a shop, once again me and my belly were greeted with the smiling "it's a boy?! when is he due?" I replied my usual "hayır, Kız" (no, a girl) and was met by exclamations of surprise bordering on skepticism.

Since this time the people asking me were of female gender and old enough to have (had) children of their own, I asked what was so surprising about there being a girl in my belly. Their English being as good as my Turkish, I didn't quite get the answer... but I did catch the word for "girl" and it was was accompanied by horrible grimaces, distorted faces and hands messing up hair - not nice. Whatever....

A few days later, when asked when "he was due", I took the opportunity of an English speaking Turkish woman's presence to question her about the mystifying grimaces and assumptions I had encountered.

She laughed and said: "in Turkey people believe that a baby girl steals her mother's beauty, whereas a baby boy makes her more beautiful... so you see, it's a compliment, because you look nice."

Typical...

According to baby gender folklore and 38 fun ways to guess your baby's sex I should indeed be expecting a boy....

Week 32

On Saturday June 9th we had our last Turkish check-up with our local Ob-Gyn.

The latest:
weight (EFW): 2133gr (657gr in the past 3 weeks)
height: 41,32cm (= femur length of 6,22 x 6 + 4)
Estimated Delivery Date (EDD): varies depending on what you measure. Since she's slightly Large for Gestational Age (LGA) - some measurements show her to be up to 34 weeks, give or take a few days - obviously this moves the EDD up.


If only...
I'd be very happy to have her at week 37 when she's technically no longer a preemie (in Switzerland)!
Good news is, her lungs are mature so should she come early no issues there.




Other than the usual ultra-sound, we also had fetal monitoring for the first time.

This involved me lying down with straps around my belly meant to capture bebek's heart beat, a nurse ringing a bicycle bell next to my belly, and me pressing on a what looked like an ignition button every time I felt a kick. Oh, and it also measures uterine contractions should you have any.

Basically, a healthy baby should react to the bicycle bell both by movement and an increased heart rate. Very definitely bebek was responsive - I'm not sure how much she enjoyed the experience, but Doc. was reassured she was well and I got my share of kicks, waves and somersaults.

We leave for Geneva in two weeks and so unless something unpleasant happens before then, the next time we visit our Doc. here, she'll be able to see our bebek without the need of an ultra-sound...
I have to say it's kind of weird having gone through 32 weeks of appointments, ultra-sounds, blood tests, phone calls and talks with her, to suddenly say goodbye before the baby is born. Kind of sad actually...

pregnancy EDD fetal monitor week 32

32 weeks or Being pregnant is...

To celebrate the end of week 32 (is this the beginning of the 8th month then?) here are 32 things that pregnancy is (to me)....

1. knowing what it feels like to have someone have the hiccups inside you
2. sympathizing with anyone who is overweight (especially when climbing stairs, getting up from a floor mat or doing up shoe laces!)
3. thinking anyone with a beer belly should consider wearing pregnancy pants - why suffer tightness around the waste when you can have an adjustable elastic system that is no uglier than "belly over button" and a red face!
4. having incredible heartburn!
5. sharing your body - like when you want to lie on your side and the little one inside you thinks differently!
6. thinking weird thoughts like "once upon a time, every single one of us actually lived in and came screaming out of someone's uterus!"
7. being in touch with your senses and intuition like you wouldn't believe!
8. being drugged on hormones and feeling the emotion you're overwhelmed by is totally disproportional to whatever the de facto situation may be, but you can't help - kind of schizophrenic really!
9. if you're like me, then pregnancy is a blocked nose more often than not, and you'll take up snoring at Olympic levels...
10. experiencing incredibly strong feelings for someone you've never even met!
11. spending hours trying to find a name!!!
12. and more hours trying to figure out how long 40 weeks really is and when the due date will be!
13. people you don't know well or to whom you're not physically close to, suddenly feeling they are fully entitled to touch your belly
14. your "bump" becomes the centre of attention, and boy to people stare!
15. people generally avoiding doing anything potentially upsetting and "bureaucratic" processes amazingly becoming more flexible as soon as your "bump" is noticed
16. complete strangers helping you to carry your groceries, which can be nice...
17. people you hardly know offering to look through their attics and lend/give you their maternity/baby clothes
18. getting acquainted to the smelly public toilets because your bladder (and someone dancing the polka on it) leaves you no choice...
19. as the baby grows bigger, eating small meals often because your stomach has no space left
20. ditto for your lungs, so breathing becomes more like panting
21. pregnancy is also giving up trying to figure out if, bump aside, you still look like you did before the bump - pregnancy is definitely not only in your belly!
22. your legs becoming stronger
23. becoming manic of creaming yourself to avoid stretch marks and itching (if you weren't into full body moisturizing before getting pregnant...)
24. appreciating spontaneously "popping out" as you know you won't be able to do it for much longer
25. ditto for long showers or lengthy gossips over lunch with friends
26. thinking you won't, but you do eventually, actually, unbelievably, start waddling instead of walking like a "normal" person
27. sometimes feeling like there's an alien inside you, especially when your tummy starts making waves or has protruding shapes and shakes on its own
28. being unable to remember what it's like not to be pregnant
29. seeing others jump, run, or even swiftly get out of their car seems quite amazing and definitely enviable....
30. noticing (and checking out) all the buggy brands in the street and becoming acquainted with obscure terms like "onesies", "grobags", "baby grows", "muslins" and "togs"
31. thinking that your "before" clothes seem like a joke, and hoping you'll some day look at your current preggie clothes and think that it's actually funny that a Sumo could fit into them
32. pregnancy is being allowed into the mummy club - an informal club exclusive to mothers who think and act like any non-parent just doesn't get it - and I'm not saying they are wrong...

Being pregnant is...

La di doo di doo dah...

Yay!
Thanks honey... last one with "just the two of us"
Next year we'll have help blowing out the candles....and maybe even cake in our hair which will be a new experience.... ;-)

no-name Mademoiselle

To date, we have been totally useless at finding a name for our little Mademoiselle-on-the-way.

In the beginning, we didn't know if we were expecting a girl or a boy and so we had a mixed-gender list of names pinned to a kitchen shelf.

We totally thought this was not going to be difficult.

After a while, we had to come to terms with the fact that we weren't really making progress so we thought finding out the baby's gender might help (ok, so we just wanted to know - it's hard to refuse today's technology! - and I wanted to know if I was into pink for a good reason).

Anyway, the list is still there only the "girl" column is now longer. We both add a name to it when we come across one we like. We also regularly cross names off ("What was I thinking?!")

We have consulted books, websites and dictionaries, received newsletters and emails, suggestions from family members...

Nada, nil, squat. No winner on our list it seems. We are at a loss. Mademoiselle is still "bebek" most of the time. Or Mademoiselle B.

We have kept the (now dowdy looking) list and might short-list some names in the unlikely event that bebek will look like a definite Lea, Milla, Emma, Zoya, Chloe, Emily, Zoe etc. the moment we set eyes on her.

It's not only that we can't agree on a name - it's that neither of us has found the name, the one you are so 100% convinced about that you could convince your other half, the one you really love.


I can't believe how hard we are finding this!

Our criteria for the name:

• does not mean, sound like or rhyme with anything nasty in same or other language (e.g. Recently heard of "Anemique" = lack of iron in French, "Dana" which means beef in Turkish, or names beginning with "mal" (bad/wrong) like "Malena")
• is melodious yet simple
• can be easily pronounced and spelled in many languages (mainly all the ones spoken by our globally-sprawled out families)
• is suitable in "our languages" - some names are very cute in English but a disaster in French or vice versa
  
• is original yet not outrageous nor difficult to "wear"
• is suitable for a toddler, a young girl a woman and a granny (some names just aren't!)
• fits baby's surname (& so does not start with the letter B so as not to be BB)
• does not begin with S (our initials)
• if possible, it means something to us (has some kind of connection to our history)
  
• most of all: we both like it!

HELP!

Preggie books

Being pregnant in a foreign country means you don't have your usual family & friends' advice on hand and your usual reference points.
Luckily in my case, there are a couple of newfound friends who are also pregnant with whom to exchange experiences of various body changes and kicking baby stories. Hurray!

There are times though, however fun the chat (or the web-surf), nothing beats a good book!

<-- These have been my companions on this 30-week journey (so far - Hurray! Hurray!) ranging from the serious to light-hearted if totally honest & friendly.

Most fun and good bedside reads: "minus nine to one" by Jools Oliver & "Shopaholic & Baby" by Sophie Kinsella.

Liz Fraser's "The Yummy Mummy's Survival Guide" and "The Best Friends' Guide to Pregnancy" by Vicki Iovine are both a good mix of fun and practical.

Liz Fraser's book Yummy Mummy's Survival Guide is very much in there with advice on pampering yourself as much as you possibly can, while you can, explains what happens to your relationship with friends, your body image and partners, and shares tips on baby showers, what to pack for the hospital and labor.

Vicki Iovine's Best Friends' Guide to Pregnancy was funny yet brutally honest and a very easy read-in-the-order-you-like with sections ranging from Sex and Pregnancy to Looking and feeling your best or I can't eat/ breathe/ walk and I'm scared to death.

Gina Ford's "The New Contented Little Baby Book" has me a bit confused as I read it sort of at the same time as Tracy Hogg's "The Baby Whisperer Solves all you Problems" - not a good idea! Although both are very much pro-routine (as opposed to demand feeding) their timings in getting baby into a feeding/sleeping routine are not the same and you end up trying to figure out what the differences are and which would suit you best when you can't possibly know at this stage!

I found Tracy Hogg's book easier to read with her E.A.S.Y routine (Eat. Activity. Sleep. You) and her check lists to help you determine why your six-week baby or under is crying. I liked her "Common complaints-Probable causes" and her feeding/sleeping charts.

Yours truly, novice at mummyhood, found Mrs. Ford's lengthy paragraphs hard to follow : "if your baby is xxx-ing then you must be yyy-ing, which leads to zzz-ing so you might want to try xyz-ing, however without abc-ing..." AGHHHH! What was that?! Maybe at a later stage when it all becomes a bit more real. Right now I found the best part of her book was the "Common problems in the first year" section which is brief and to the point. I am sure, however her book will come in handy later on.

Finally, "Le Guide Pratique de la Femme Enceinte" takes you through the weeks & months explaining all the possible physical changes, ailments, exercises and sizes. It is an informative but not particularly fun read.

I have recently acquired "The Panic-Free Pregnancy" written by M.D. Michael S. Broder in the form of Q&As; "an Ob-Gyn (who) separates fact from fiction on food, exercise, travel, pets, coffee, medications, and other concerns you have when you're expecting". I don't exactly plan to read this through and through, rather use it as an ad hoc reference book.

That's all for now! Any other books you can recommend? 70 days left after all...

Mummy brain

I recall thinking my good friend N. had gone nutters when she turned hysterical against her mother for crossing the street, on the pedestrian crossing, with her new grand-son in his new pram, not a car in sight but while the light was red !!!!

I also remember thinking that my sister had clearly lost all sense of proportion when she stood as a barrier to the baby blender, defending her controlling position of the "on" button, while desperately trying to position her squiggling daughter on her ever-so-slim-hip, so that her husband could not make carrot purée à sa façon, nor take their daughter from her in an attempt to help her out.

By and by, I have seen reasonable, intelligent, calm women, suddenly turn into a scarier version of the Incredible Hulk when they perceived their bundle of joy to be threatened by the environment, or worse: a family member's good intentions or a friend's uninvited opinion.
It soon became apparent that offering an unsolicited opinion, helping hand or alternative way to a new mother was totally and utterly suicidal. Oh Yeah.

Since then, the above-mentioned have had more babies and have (thankfully) totally chilled. Phew!

Now I'm kind of scared about what is going to happen to my brain in a little while.
There's no point in knowing about it. Awareness is one thing, but something clearly happens - instinct? exhaustion? wanting to be the best possible mom? - that tips your scales and makes you believe you are the only one who knows how to carry, feed, bath, etc. your nappy-filling-rose-smelling-baby.
Suddenly, you're paying more attention to every little breath, mimic and sound than to the hairiness of your under-arms (ugh! that bad?!) and nobody knows better than you whenever your baby is concerned.
Luckily, it seems to be a phase.

Then there's also the fact that all you talk about is baby, poo, nappies, sleep(-lessness)... Looks like that's already started!

I used to wonder what had happened to new-Mummies brains, conversation and sense of humor... I guess in a way it's understandable - being pregnant, giving birth, taking care of a brand new human being is rather huge and overwhelming - but so boring to others!
I guess if you flip it around we could say it's being focused?

Looking forward....

Sleepless

Seriously?
Shouldn't I be stocking up on sleep right now so as be less vulnerable to the things sleepless nights do to a new Mom?

I am pretty sure that whoever said that insomnia during pregnancy is training for later is wrong. It's like dieting to prepare for famine. Seriously. Our body is smarter than that.

Umph!

How long is 40 weeks anyway?

I've never been great at Maths - but 40 weeks... um, isn't that like 10 months?
Ok, so not every month has the same amount of weeks and so if you spread it all out it somehow works out to ...? I'm confused.

Every time someone asks me how pregnant I am I am at a loss.
At 12 weeks you're finishing your first trimester right? So logically at 24 weeks, that would be 6 months? and then 12 weeks later... at week 36 - Wait! but week 36 (3 x 12) is not 40! In fact that's just about a month early.

Keeping in mind that :

• an average pregnancy lasts 40 weeks (or 38 if you discount the 2 weeks where you're not actually pregnant but have not had your period)
• the baby is due end of July (according to most of the measurements and tests)
• July is the 7th month of the year
• I became pregnant mid-november
• so that should be 7 months + 1 1/2 months = 8 1/2 right? (to which you may add the 2 weeks of amenorrhea to make 9)
  
• which would mean the actual pregnancy lasts 8 1/2 months (but that's 32 weeks + 2 = 34!)
  
• so now that it's May 2nd (week 27) and end of July is 3 months away (+12 weeks), does that mean that we're beginning the third trimester now? (=39 weeks)
  
• and by the way, if you look at the little baby ticker/calendar above, you'll see it says there are 86 days to go - ain't that another 12 weeks!? (is that 3 months? 'cause if it is we're back to my initial question!!!!!)
  

Aggghhhh!

I know that you're probably thinking "Who's counting?!" when all that matters is that things are going well - and the answer is I AM !
I need to plan so that I
a) am allowed to fly back to Geneva
b) arrive in time to have the babe there
c) can do some antenatal aquagym classes and meet my mid-wife
d) have the impression that it's not quite as long as it seems...

I realize the babe will "pop out" (ok I'm trying to be positive and play it down - I am fully aware she will not just "pop out") when she's ready, and that only about 5% of newborns actually arrive on Due Date - but...I STILL WANT TO HAVE A ROUGH IDEA OF WHEN SHE WILL ARRIVE!

Not to mention that:

• we already have a niece who was born on July 22nd 2006 and although she lives in Singapore, it would be nice to have individual birthdates
• without wanting to sound totally superficial - I would much prefer a baby Leo (like hubs and a lot of my friends) to a Crab (although that means waiting a tad longer or at least until after July 23rd!)
  

Ok, well whatever - I just am looking forward to meeting her!

pregnancy baby pregnant 40 weeks 9 months EDD

Pregnant in Turkey

One of the cool things about being pregnant in Turkey is there doesn't seem to be a limit to the number of ultra-sounds you, the patient & mom-to-be, can have.

According to the various books, articles, blogs etc. I have read (& stuff other women have told me) in most of Western Europe and the UK, the standard number of ultra-sounds is 3 (one per trimester). Further up north (in Holland & Sweden) 3 seems to be a max. In fact, after they've confirmed you are pregnant, they send you home and tell you to come back once you're ready to have the baby... if, that is, you're planning to deliver in a hospital or clinic and not at home (not my cuppa personally, but whatever).

In Turkey, -at least, in Izmir, as a foreigner with a terrific (lady) Ob-Gyn who speaks good English and specializes in IVF babies (not our case)- we get to "go to the movies" (dixit an enthusiastic hubs who otherwise is as allergic as they come to hospitals) and see our "bebek" once a month! How's that for entertainment!?

Seriously, it's pretty cool. Not that I can compare with a previous pregnancy or anything like that. Just that I kind of look forward to seeing little arms and feet waving. After our first memorable visit (12 weeks, at which point our bebek not only actually looked like a human baby for the first time, but also gave us the ultimate pleasure of jumping up and down and doing a little jig!) I was so looking forward to the second one, (16 weeks) that I felt as though I'd been stood up when the little person slept through the whole appointment. The nerve, I tell ya!

OK, so they don't have insurance companies running their health policy either. And maybe not everyone has an ultra-sound this often. But your monthly appointment doesn't just last 5 minutes flat, with 20 patients waiting outside, and that feeling that really you can read up on your pregnancy on the web or contact a mid-wife instead of bothering the doc.

Our doctor here is available and a caring human being. And, should you have the slightest complication, your Ob-Gyn calls you at home to ask how you're doing. Not just once either. And you can call her on her mobile phone when you're not sure you're OK. And she drinks coffee, sometimes answers her mobile phone in the middle of a sentence, calls her assistants "kids" and has McDonald's for lunch 'cause she's just walked out of the OR where she delivered another baby. She has bad hair days, too - but she'll notice what you're wearing and compliment you on your looking nice today. And... she still has the time to do an educational show on national television about IVF and reproductive health in general. And... she has kids of her own.

I know a few people who have become doctors and who really wish they could spend as much quality time with their patients - but they would have to bill them a bomb and would get in trouble. I know of patients who think their doctors have muted from human to something akin to a mechanic for homo sapiens.
A few people I know have benefited from "medical handling" similar to this one, (in Serbia and Russia) and can compare it to medical experience (treatment for illness or pregnancy) in Australia, Switzerland, the UK, France or Holland. Without a doubt, they all preferred the perhaps less glamorous, sometimes bare and unadorned structure with a human touch to the fancy clinics where the doctor can hardly remember your name and you are beginning to wonder whether you have been swallowed by a file/case/number.

Sure, it means that you're not always seen on time and it can take some getting used to. But hey, I was worried about having "bebek" here, and now I'm thinking that my extremely competent Swiss made Ob-Gyn is going to seem a tad like clock-work after a pregnancy the Turkish way.


A BIG thanks to Isla, who noticed I was pregnant before anyone else and who took me to Irenbe after my first experience with the "gentleman-professor-Ob-Gyn" who nearly made me wish I wasn't pregnant in Turkey.


OB-GYN pregnant pregnancy ultra-sound baby foreign land

Week 23

Bebek* is a girl!

*No, no! "Bebek" is not a name!!! It's "baby" in Turkish!

We were hoping this would make finding a name easier - but no cigar! It's much harder than I thought...

Suggestions welcome....

baby baby scan pregnancy pregnant ultra-sound week 23

Footsies - week 19

Have not totally disappeared of the face of the earth - just really busy. All is well and growing...

Week 15 and magic

So we’re into our second trimester, and everything is apparently as it should be.

Funnily enough, the initial moments of “Wow” passed, as well as the occasional feeling of not owning my own body because it’s acting in weird ways it used not to, I feel like a fish in the sea & like being pregnant is the most normal thing in the world.

Which of course it is, but it’s also hugely and totally unfathomable, isn’t it? One of those things you have a hard time getting your head around. Realizing that you are growing another person inside of you and that one day, if all goes well, they will be as "big" and as "old" as you are right now. It’s like you always knew this was going to happen, but at the same time never really believed it. Like growing up when you’re little. (Well at least that’s the way I felt.) One of those things that seems totally unremarkable until you stop to think about it.

And it’s the circle thing… I’m going to be a parent, which means I am going to be what my parents are to me, to someone else. Auuehemerrr… that is weird. That’s scary. That’s well, I’m not too sure about that part.

Of course, I’m going to be my version of parent, mixed with my honey’s version, and with the inescapable twist and shake our lives and experiences will convey to our choices, actions and oversights. As my Dad has said billions of times (in a rather fatalistic, defensive and occasionally apologetic manner) we don’t make the mistakes our parents made, but we make others. I can believe that, although there’s a sometimes a boomerang effect, that brings us right back to where (what?) we were trying to get away from in the first place.

We probably all have a couple of vivid memories of things that we swore we would never do “to” our kids when we grew up and had them… (I made lists: of things to remember –or rather not to forget- of things not to do… A real Peter Pan although I desperately wanted to put childhood behind me and become an adult.) But then there’s perspective, and of course I’ve changed my mind on some of those things, but there are others… Ah well, I guess we’ll do our best. (I think it’s a bit early to go down that road right this minute.)

Anyway, it might be the hormones (I don't mean the replacement therapy ones), but being pregnant is bringing back flashes from my childhood, my teens, my whole life. I’ve always thought we carry with(in) us the 2, 7, 9, 13, 17… year olds we once were – but although these versions of me occasionally voice a point or two, now days they seem to be more vocal than ever, playing the reels of hazy long-ago snippets of my life with people who have played a role in it; Some no longer alive, whom I have not thought of in a while. Others, whose memory is much more vivid and have sometimes been embodied by living people who, it has seemed at times, were encountered and (put?) there for me as stand-ins for those who left too soon.

See? Hormones. You probably think I’m looney tunes by now.

But I do believe in a kind of magic. Maybe it’s destiny, maybe it’s God, maybe it’s the Universe, I don’t think the name matters much –I don’t think I would care if I were misnamed, as long as the concept of me …oh, oh, another one I don’t think I’m going to go down just now – sorry.

Anyway, magic… I think there is magic.
Maybe it’s in my belly, maybe it’s in the air, maybe it’s my hormone-drugged brain… But when you catch a glimpse of it, it makes you feel all warm inside and kind of happy-sad. Kind of like when you want to cry with joy or when I think of my Baba and her bordeaux shawl.

baby becoming a parent pregnant hormonal second trimester week 15

Side effects...

I forgot to mention that my sense of smell is unbelievable.
I'm pretty sure I could compete against my dog if, uh, we could uh, possibly compete... if you see what I mean.
But seriously, se-ri-ous-ly, you cannot imagine all the stuff I can smell and could really do without.
The weird thing is, my brain automatically tries to identify the smell and so when someone is talking to me I'm now wondering what they just ate/drank instead of listening to what they are saying. Agh, the mysterious ways of the brain; I guess instinct gets the priority route, whereas cognitive gets second place.

I'm sure it's great once you get used to it, but right now, I'm NOT enjoying: food shopping, going to the market, pollution, any kind of handy-work, smoke, the 7 day deodorants they sell here, public toilets (even from afar), picking up my dog's poop, newly-packaged-anything, the to-be-sold-and-sacrificed calves and lambs showing up on along the roads and in front of malls in preparation for the Big Bayram.**

What next?! (if you don't know what I'm on about but would like to, read this)

** Big Bayram or Eid-ul-Adha: the Festival of Sacrifice celebrated throughout the Muslim world, "in commemoration of the command given by Allah to Prophet Abraham (may Allah be pleased with him) to sacrifice his first born son Ishmael to Him. The fulfilment [sic] of this noble command of Allah by Abraham signifies his faith in Allah (...) In addition, like the pilgrims in Makkah (Mecca), the Muslims, who can afford to do so, offer domestic animals, usually sheep, as a symbol of Ibrahim's sacrifice. (...) Some of the meat is given to the poor -- often one third. The rest is shared among the family, relatives and friends." (source http://www.religioustolerance.org/isl_feast.htm)


first trimester pregnant in Turkey side-effects smell pregnant

BB

Bad blogger…
I’ve been so caught up in other stuff I have not written… and the longer I didn’t write, the longer I didn’t write… it’s one of those things it just gets worse.

Not that there’s nothing to write about…. Just that it’s maybe not your typical bloggin’ material. Or maybe, in fact, it is.

See, it involves something kind of big and terrifically tiny.

Something very normal, so normal in fact that it happens everywhere and all the time, and now days, age is less and less of an issue. Yet, it’s extraordinary and life changing.

Normal and life changing. Tiny and Huge. Common and Extraordinary. Unique yet as old as humanity itself.

… I’m growing a person. Currently it looks like a bean. Inside my belly. One centimeter big but it’s a revolution.

How?
Well, physically; I have fever, my stomach feels like I’ve turned into Father Christmas and my intake of calories is impressive.
I can also tell you that some of those lady like manners, well, there are times, they just have to go. You’ve got to do what you’ve got to do… what can I say? It’s nature. And I wouldn’t know what beer belching is like – not a beer person – but I’m all for making yourself feel better when you feel like you’re going to burst.

The funny thing is, you just know something is up. I felt it happen believe it or not, I don’t care, hubs can testify.
I knew something had happened, the moment it happened.
Then I knew for a few weeks.
Then, I knew as I waited the minute or two for the Clear Blue test to tell.
And I knew as I drove to the doctor’s (ha! The gyno! I do have to tell you about that… maybe in another post).

And then, once you really know, (the urine test, the blood test, the ultra sound and the doctor have told you and you’ve kind of began to understand what is happening), you tend to forget.

So much so, that while you’re in the middle of reading a book, or getting out of a car, you suddenly think: “Why the hell do I feel so damn tired, and like I weigh a ton and a half?” And then it hits you: you’ve got a baby bean inside your belly.
You wake up in the middle of the night, your bladder calling and hungry, thinking: “You've got to be kidding! I had pasta 4 formaggi a few hours ago!”

What can I say, you’re sharing your body, your food intake & your disposable energy. It takes some getting used to. I guess it’s all part of the training.
I’m the impatient type, but maybe the 9-month period is not a minute too long.

Oh, the BB? You decide. Here are a few options:
Bébé
Big Belly
Baby Bean
Brigitte Bardot (ahem!)
Big Busted (did I mention that hormones do that to you?)
But(t) Babe (that's the food!)
...


pregnant first trimester becoming a parent