what really matters

I have grown accustomed to seeing our furniture in very different settings;our flat in Vandoeuvres, the house in Zeytinalan Izmir, our first disaster area flat in Vienna (Zuckerkandlgasse) and now this one in the 18th bezirk of Wien. It's surprising how you somehow manage to make it fit the new layout with a little creativity (e.g. sometimes we have room in the kitchen for a table and sometimes we don't, sometimes our desk is a a desk in the guest room/study and sometimes it's a console table in the entrance or hall where we dump our keys and mail)

However, upon arrival in this new flat, the strangest thing happened when I saw our furniture all set up in the right rooms with our pics up and little knick-knacks laid out; it was like seeing a dead man (so I guess that would be a ghost?). I mean I was really surprised to see it all again. As if it had all died and gone to furniture heaven and could not possibly be in our home again. Weird huh?

I guess it can be explained by:
-not having gone through the process of actually moving out of the flat of the 19th moving into this one (since my honey did all the work while Emma and I were still in Geneva/France)
-the fact that I have sort of settled in our pad in France, making it my new home with pics, decorations, new clothes, bed sheets, cushions etc. as well as new routines, coffees and ice-creams with friends, etc.
-but mainly I think it's due to the fact that I tried so hard to put the Zuckerkandlgasse disaster out of my mind, that I kind of threw the baby out with the bath water as it were.

How weird is that?! It's taking me a little time to consider all these belongings as mine and enjoy them again.

I recently suggested to a friend she do without something (or rather someone) for a trial period before actually deciding whether or not she wanted to do without. Coincidentally, I realized that having lived without practically all my belongings for nearly five months, I manged quite well. In fact, I was just fine.
Admittedly, I bought new furniture , clothes etc. in Geneva, but still, it made me realize how many things I have that I don't actually need, and how they are not the be-all and end-all in terms of making my home. All these things are nice to have, but I if required, I can start over (with a little spare cash and some time) and be happy.
A refreshing, empowering thought.

Likewise, I realized that being in a smaller more compact space had its benefits, especially with a little one. Sometimes we realize how much less is really more. Granted, the two flights of stairs leading up to our pad in France (carrying Emma and groceries), doing all the cleaning (hadn't done it since student days!) and the reduced space was more than compensated by the fact that I could see friends and be in a place that was familiar (easily find my way around town, speak the language etc.). So, how cool is it to realize that I have not grown accustomed to being a spoiled-expat-spouse?! Very.

So... I'm going through stuff and I'm going to give lots of it away and make space for now.
Ha!

Back in Vienna!

So, we have been back in Vienna since Sunday 10th. ... So far no major disasters. Yippee!

A close call though; the newly acquired Mummy-car, a second-hand black automatic Polo, refused to start on Monday afternoon when I decided that it would be nice to get out after Emma's morning nap and lunch. Turns out the portable GPS had sucked the life out of the battery. Luckily we managed -did I say we? Uh, I meant; my star of a husband and the VW service (Emma and I were sending good vibes) to resolve the issue speedily enough and on Tuesday morning the car started on the first attempt.

Emma has adjusted rather well to her 5th bedroom (!!!!) since birth (and I am not counting the maternity ward or family visits) and is generally sleeping ok (although last night she let out a few screams I think might be due to more teeth pushing out).

The new flat is super nice, lovely and bright and spacious, surrounded by our own garden which is accessible from all the bedrooms and the living room. Very best of all (aside from the fact that we never have to go back to that horrible construction area we thought was going to be our home in Vienna) is that there is NO UNPACKING REQUIRED since my star of a husband did it all (with a little hired help) so that we could land running and not get bogged down in boxes. What more could I ask for to make "Vienna take 2" a totally different experience? Cross fingers people!

Today is "Mariä Himmefahrt" so we'll be enjoying a long weekend with Daddy/hubby and getting out and about.

Tune is soon for more...

stuff she does when sitting

clapping, pushing, banging Emma and her aunt Annabel.

Emma opening presents

And the winner is... the potty!

12 month check-up

On Monday 28th we went for Emma's one year check up:

10,750 kg (feels like a lot more to me!) 75cm (that's 25cm since birth!)
and she had 2 vaccinations which are giving her a bit of a fever...

Although I don't really want to start fitting Emma into a box, it is kind of reassuring for a first time parent to read up on development milestones so that you know what to expect and have an idea of what your kid should be up to when.

(Above: waiting for the doctor with Annabel also known as "tata yéyé")

According to the development milestones listed by baby weekly (which I have really enjoyed receiving and am sad is ending at week 52 since Emma's birth!) Emma is "ahead" in using her hands (has been removing socks for ages, lifts heavy objects, puts things in baskets, pulls them out, claps...) and can recognize gestures by words (clap, tap, "dodo"), she will point to things she wants instead of crying (although she cries when you remove something she wants). However, she seems to be "lagging behind" in anything that has to to with actually getting on to her two feet; no standing, walking nor even proper crawling so far!

The pediatrician said she is pretty heavy which makes it more difficult for her to walk but that the key thing is she is moving around, the "how" isn't so important. I think they only start worrying if your babe isn't walking at 18 months.

In the waiting room at the Pediatrician's with Annabel (aka "tata yéyé")

Some more great news is that now she's allowed to eat practically everything. So tonight I made her some of my favorite meatballs in the world - Baba's recipe! - but a mini version for her lunch tomorrow and hopefully the day after. Hope she likes them.

my first year with Emma

On Monday 28th we went for Emma's one year check up:

• 10,750 kg (feels like a lot more to me!)
• 75cm (that's 25cm since birth!)
• and best of all she's now allowed to eat practically everything!

Although I don't really want to start fitting Emma in to a box of development criteria it is kind of reassuring for a first time parent to read up on development milestones so that you know what to expect and have an idea of what your kid should be up to.

According to the development milestones listed by baby weekly (which I have really enjoyed receiving and am sad is ending at week 52 since Emma's birth!) Emma is "ahead" in using her hands (has been removing socks for ages, lifts heavy objects, puts things in baskets, pulls them out, claps...) and can recognize gestures by words (clap, tap, dodo) she will point to things she wants instead of crying (although she cries when you remove something she wants). However, she seems to be "lagging behind" in anything that has to to with actually getting on to her two feet; no standing, walking nor even proper crawling so far! The pediatrician said she is pretty heavy so it makes it more difficult for her to walk but that the key thing is she is moving around.

In terms of stranger anxiety, she doesn't seem to be experiencing too much of that and is generally quite curious when seeing a new face, hearing a new voice etc.

Today, on her birthday we went back to the clinic where she was born to sort of reminisce and say hi to the midwives and nurses who made it a wonderful time for me a year ago. ONE WHOLE YEAR AGO!!!!!

"In raising my children, I have lost my mind but found my soul." - Lisa T. Shepherd

Emma - July 2008

nearly 1 year old, not exactly crawling - more of a bum shuffle - but already have loads to say... and um, dribble... Too much a-shakin' for my milk to stay down

Emma update

Mobility
Today for the first time, at 11 months, 1 week and 2 days, Emma tried pulling herself up with the bars of her play pen. Her bum got nicely off the ground, hung in the air a few moments while her face sprouted a determined expression and her hands gripped the wooden bars, then she plunked back on to the multi-colored sponge lettered carpeting of her play pen.
In truth, she has actually been lifting her bum off the ground by grabbing on to me or legs of chairs, but this is the first time I've seen her use the wooden bars and keep so upright.

She is still mostly bum shuffling to get around, albeit much more efficiently now, and is grabbing, opening, shaking and strumming anything she can get her hands on. She can now swiftly get from her back on to her tummy and from her back into a sitting position - although she tries the latter more eagerly on our bed than on the floor where the landing surface is much softer should she not make it the first time around. When I put her on the floor, she moves with one leg under her bum and pushes with the other. I'm not quite sure how this works but she definitely get from one corner of the room to the door in no time at all.

Favorite activities
While I am under the shower she loves opening the bathroom cupboard under the sink and pulling out our stock of toothpaste, soap, and my Veet wax strips. She systematically tries shaking, knocking, banging each object individually or against the floor, cupboard or anything else she can reach.

She also loves: removing her hat as soon as you've put it on her; handing you objects and then reaching out for you to return them; tearing up Mummy's magazines; eating bread (and especially anything she can eat on her own); looking down at where she was sitting/lying before you picked her up; playing peek-a-boo; throwing things on the ground then looking down to see where they are (yes, I pick them up dozens of times); trying to sit up while I'm changing her nappy (not so great); most of all, her pink star-fish.

Another favorite is bath-time with her duckies, hippo and the dolphin and recently discovered that clapping her hand against the water makes a great sound ans splashes Mummy! Yesterday she took to tapping her hand against her wet tummy and really enjoyed the musical effect.

Right from the start, Emma has been very sensitive to rhythm and music. Be it Church bells, drumming sounds, the electrical sounding music produced by one of her toys, me singing or clicking my tongue even Amy Winehouse gets her bobbing up and down and puts a smile on her little face. Too cute, even if I am her mother.

Sleeping is still fine
At night she goes to bed at 7pm and gets up at 7am. This has meant that since April when we managed to get rid of the "dream feed" by moving it gradually from 11pm to 9pm while decreasing its quantity and simultaneously increasing the quantity of milk at 7pm dinner time, I have had my evenings "off". Yay!!!! She still wakes when she looses her dummy especially now that she is so mobile in bed and end up sleeping across and at the bottom of her cot. Grobags are a must as she loses the covers in no time at all.

During the day she still has two naps. In fact, at the moment they are very regular and the patters is the same on most days. Mornings: 9h30-11h; afternoons: 2h30pm-3h15pm. This is a bit tricky as it means I really need to work my day around naps, lunch and tea-time but gradually and when she is ready, we'll decrease the morning nap and try to increase the afternoon one so that we end up with one big nap.

Looking forward:
I'm hoping to have switched naps before Emma starts going to the day-care centre in Vienna mid-September so that there are not too many changes at once. But in between the move, holidays and starting day-care as well as trying to respect her need for two naps it's going to be a bit of a challenge.

Well, I guess there's the update on Emma. Hopefully I'll manage to do this a bit more regularly in the coming months, especially as I am sure there will be lots to tell!

Stub out your cigs

Today Geneva bans smoking in public areas (restaurants and cafés) where smoking wasn't already banned.
Hurrah for kiddies and Mummies and well, for anyone who wants to enjoy their food.

I wish they would make lunch-/dinner-time "smoke free" in restaurants not big enough to have proper non-smoking areas... especially in the winter time

Making sense of the election process in Zimbabwe

It's really funny and really worrying...

Emma and my wallet

Au Poirier, June 2008

home (made) improvements

I'm pretty proud of my homemaker efforts.
Emma's room (in our Pad in France, the "Poirier") needed curtains. However, finding something suitable proved harder than I'd imagined since our new windows meant no drilling holes...

Anyhow, in the end I found plain white linen ones:

Sewed on some colored curly-whirly polka dots to cheer them up, like so:

It's hard to tell with the lighting but these are mighty fine curtains straight from the heart! (Who knew I could find it in me to actually sew!!)

And our little Leo has her own jungle opposite her cot:

This little pad of ours is getting better and better... Now all I have to do is paint a picture or two to decorate our living room...

tips on brushing a baby's teeth please

Anyone have tips on brushing a baby's teeth?

Emma already has 8 teeth and our pediatrician said it might be a good idea to start "brushing" after meals.
But how do you manage that with a 9 and 1/2 month not-yet-toddler?

Emma, who sticks absolutely everything into her mouth without being asked, just thrusts her tongue stubbornly in between her lips blocking any access to her teeth.

And when I just handed her the toothbrush in the hope she would get used to it, she stuck the wrong end in her mouth!

Emma teething and handcream

Emma in her pushcart, teething with her favorite handcream... a bit scary!

sneaky thyroid and watching the world go by

Sitting in a Starbucks waiting for a 9h30 appointment. I wish it was for a job interview, although it’s probably better that it’s not, given the circumstances.

I love watching people getting to work, grabbing a coffee, making calls as they rush into the day. I used to love that feeling of “being on my way”, music plugged into my ears, a new day unfolding around me and having the time to observe and take in the urban buzz, the world on stage. I took the tram here, and I have to say that in that respect, public transport and walking beat driving and traffic jams any day.
It’s been ages since I’ve done it. I wonder am I nostalgic of a past no-kid-working-girl life or simply of time gone by, of a younger, braver, me.

On Monday, my 5 weeks without thyroid replacement hormone were over and I went for a blood test. Yesterday, I spoke to the endocrinologist and nearly cried with relief when he told me that it was a disaster and I needed to go back on medication right away. I’m not mad, I’m not depressed – it’s my thyroid.

No wonder I’ve been going to bed exhausted at 9pm and dragging myself around all day. No wonder my skin was dry, my eyes watery, my heartbeat erratic, my need for sleep insatiable, my general outlook black. My muscle pains and weakness, headaches, sensitivity to light, being cold all the time, blurry vision, sluggish digestion and moodiness all explained with one single hormone – or lack of it. Impressive.
I took medication again yesterday. I wonder how long before things start looking up. Another test due in 5 weeks, but I’m seeing the doctor on Tuesday to try to find a way to stop this yoyo-ing. I have Emma, a husband, some friends and family I’d like to hang on to thank-you very much! 5 weeks is a hell of a long time to feel awful. Especially added on to the fact that I've been going up and down now for some months.

This thyroid thing is really quite shocking when you think about it. It can take you from aggressive monster to lethargic depressed veggie. It’s massively debilitating and it’s insidious and sneaky.
How can you know if you're really finding people/events/things annoying/depressing/cold or if it's your thyroid? If your whole barometer is out of whack, who and what can you trust?

Laughing gal & off we go again

Emma is back from Singapore and glad to see her Daddy!

Listen to Emma laughing at Steph's "Japanesing"

We arrived back in Vienna on Good Friday and were supposed to be flying back to Geneva tomorrow (Easter Monday) but we changed out flight a couple of hours ago and are going today!

Emma in her "bassinet" on the SQ flight back to Europe
sheltered behind an improvised curtain
to protect her from the harsh lighting of the plane

I still dislike it but I'm becoming incredibly good at packing, unpacking and repacking even if it's for an entirely different climate and for Emma and me.

As for Emma, she has taken a plane more times than her age in months!

Happy Easter people!

twinkle twinkle

Little Emma in the middle looks just a tad overwhelmed by her cousins' expert rendition of Twinkle twinkle little star. The applause did not seem to affect her too much though. I wonder... Potential for a career as a public figure, there?

Tara, Lana and Emma singing
Singapore March 2008

with love from Singapore

So with all that's been going on and to cut to the chase, let's just say that:

• the work that needs doing in the flat is bad enough for them to have offered to send the three of us to a thermal spa for a week - all expenses paid (Oh! God! something tells me this time it is worse than bad)
  
• we refused the offer and have decided to start searching for a new home in Vienna
  
• but since the work needs doing now and we have been unsettled for the past 8 months, we figured a little more wouldn't harm us and so we decided to take the opportunity and visit family in Singapore!
  

So here we are, enjoying the sticky warm weather, sushi, shopping and a well deserved break from it all. (may I say that in all immodesty, I am patting myself on the back for moving ahead on my 2008 resolutions and doing my best not to spend too much time dwelling and moping as I did when we first arrived in Izmir, determined as I am to turn this ongoing disaster into an opportunity!) 

So, Emma took her first long distance flight with Singapore Airlines, no less, where she had the best and most comfortable bed of all.

Shortly after arrival, a dip in the pool 

and a nap in the shade helped us recover from the jet-lag

Milk bar closing

It's been magical and slightly painful (at the very beginning), practical (whenever, wherever), amazing, touching, affectionate, exclusive, healing, tiring and dehydrating, dangerous (ouch!)... It's been 7 months and 4 days and the milk bar is now closing. I guess it's the end of another chapter. Time to share feeds, go back to more aesthetic bras, to have a drink and pop a pill when I have a headache or a cold.

Every minute was worth it and I think I might even miss it (occasionally).

So what is Emma up to?

Moving on up and out

Basically, an update on here we go again, AGAIN:

• the latest is a leak from our bedroom bathroom to the flat downstairs
• the coordinator came by and explained that
  

1. it would require 7-10 days work
2. they would need to basically demolish our bathroom
3. they would be happy to send us to a spa hotel to recover and relax

• opposite us an apartment whose bathtub has been filling up with rain while sitting on the terrace, its kitchen cabinets and furniture stored on the landing while the floor is stripped open by desperate plumbers trying to find the source of the leak... this never ends!
  
• more neighbors moved to a hotel -these people bought their place! so all things relative we are lucky!!!
  

Need I say more than WE ARE MOVING OUT OF HERE!?? Because no matter the compensation, the niceties, the motivated repairmen and skilled working crew, we will never be sure that next week/month/trimester something else won't urgently require seeing to and I have no intention -at least for now, of taking up baumeister-ing as a new career choice.

Here's to us finding somewhere nice, safe, cosy, and perfect for the new family that we are, in Vienna to call home

for background on the nightmare of this flat you may have a look at:

here we go again,

here we go again, AGAIN,

nasty november