Wednesday, April 02, 2008

sneaky thyroid and watching the world go by

Sitting in a Starbucks waiting for a 9h30 appointment. I wish it was for a job interview, although it’s probably better that it’s not, given the circumstances.

I love watching people getting to work, grabbing a coffee, making calls as they rush into the day. I used to love that feeling of “being on my way”, music plugged into my ears, a new day unfolding around me and having the time to observe and take in the urban buzz, the world on stage. I took the tram here, and I have to say that in that respect, public transport and walking beat driving and traffic jams any day.
It’s been ages since I’ve done it. I wonder am I nostalgic of a past no-kid-working-girl life or simply of time gone by, of a younger, braver, me.

On Monday, my 5 weeks without thyroid replacement hormone were over and I went for a blood test. Yesterday, I spoke to the endocrinologist and nearly cried with relief when he told me that it was a disaster and I needed to go back on medication right away. I’m not mad, I’m not depressed – it’s my thyroid.

No wonder I’ve been going to bed exhausted at 9pm and dragging myself around all day. No wonder my skin was dry, my eyes watery, my heartbeat erratic, my need for sleep insatiable, my general outlook black. My muscle pains and weakness, headaches, sensitivity to light, being cold all the time, blurry vision, sluggish digestion and moodiness all explained with one single hormone – or lack of it. Impressive.
I took medication again yesterday. I wonder how long before things start looking up. Another test due in 5 weeks, but I’m seeing the doctor on Tuesday to try to find a way to stop this yoyo-ing. I have Emma, a husband, some friends and family I’d like to hang on to thank-you very much! 5 weeks is a hell of a long time to feel awful. Especially added on to the fact that I've been going up and down now for some months.

This thyroid thing is really quite shocking when you think about it. It can take you from aggressive monster to lethargic depressed veggie. It’s massively debilitating and it’s insidious and sneaky.
How can you know if you're really finding people/events/things annoying/depressing/cold or if it's your thyroid? If your whole barometer is out of whack, who and what can you trust?

3 comments:

Becoming said...

Dear Sandra,

Louise L. Hay in her book YOU CAN HEAL YOUR LIFE (I've kept it on my nightstand for years) says about thyroid problems, "The throat also represents the creative flow in the body. This is where we express our creativity, and when our creativity is stifled and frustrated, we often have throat problems. We all know many people who live their whole lives for others. They never once get to do what they really want to do. They are always trying to please mothers/fathers/spouses/lovers/bosses. TONSILLITIS and THYROID problmes are just frustrated creativity, resulting from not being able to do what you want to do."

To get to the root of the matter, she suggests to repeat CONSTANTLY this new thought pattern, "I move beyond old limitations and now allow myself to express freely and creatively."

Love and blessings to you,
Maggie

Anonymous said...

And you are so lucky they got the right amount of txyrox, thyrex or whatever you are on. With me it took us 8 months to get it right - talk about being depressed (not enough) to being a rage-monster (too much synt. thyroxin).

Bianca Cowel said...

I have lost most of my hair because of my hypothyroidism. I'm glad there are natural thyroid supplements, I don't have falling hair anymore. Thanks to Nutri-meds, I can get my supply anytime.