Emma clown and ill Will

Now that Emma is fit as a fiddle, William has a nasty cold and fever and it's freezing again so we can't spend too much time outside.

Yesterday Emma did not feel like playing a game but was thrilled with my proposal to paint her face. Here she is as a clown.









And here are Emma and Will as we walk home




Despite being ill, Will has been walking (with help) and can now stand up by holding on to a table or chair. I still need to catch a pic of him doing that though. With his kind of determination he'll be walking in no time.

I am beat so that's all for now.

Health mini-update

Just a quickie with my latest medical bits:
I finally got hold of the cardiologist this morning and he said my lab results were normal and we should continue the blood pressure medication for another year or so "until a less stressful time" and then maybe stop them along with a life-style change.
So I'm selling the kids and moving to a zen-bubble! ;-)

Seriously, it's good news. Even if I have a hard time with imagining the "less stressful time" because for the past 7 years my life has not been very peaceful:
2004 I announce I am getting married, my parents announce they are separating 6 weeks before my wedding date ( I'll let you imagine the rest)
2005 I quit my job and adjust to doing some free-lance stuff and we buy a dog
2006 we move to Izmir, my Dad gets cancer
2007 Emma is born, we move to Vienna
2008 Due to disaster apartment Emma and I spend 6 months in Geneva while Steph works in Vienna, we give our dog away to a family without kids
2009 pregnant in Vienna mostly ok
2010 William is born, my father dies

I'm not planning on having more kids, I only had one Dad and as for the moving, well, hopefully we will get better at managing its stresses as life goes on.

I realize that it's not what happens to you in life but the way you handle it that is key here, but I also think things add up. Here's to a calmer decade!

Must get Will up now!
Thanks again to all those who checked in and sent good vibes!

No news, good news... I hope

First of all, a BIG thanks to all of you who checked in and wrote or called. I can already feel the good vibes helping ;-)

I still don't know anything more! The cardiologist took a long week-end so when we spoke on Friday he said he had not seen my latest results and that I should call him on Tuesday.

The good-news is that Emma is back! Healthy and chirpy as ever. Will, on the other hand now has fever (at 9am his temperature was 38,4° much lower than Emma's was), but it could be teething so we have to wait and see. This morning he was awake since 4h30am which means we are not that well rested. It's still grey and really cold and we are all so much looking forward to spring and sun and a holiday.

In the meantime, here are some happy pics of Will and me taken by the computer's Photo Booth.

Wobbly but hopefully on the mend

It's a tough week because it's grey and cold again and Emma is ill (since Saturday) and so the three of us (Emma, Will and I) are staying in and trying to make her better without going nutty. The pediatrician said it was a virus so all we can do is nurse her, feed her, cuddle her and give her plenty of rest and warmth. And wait until her body recovers.

I always find it tough to stay in but even more so when I am not sick myself. Having said that, I kind of enjoyed taking care of Emma. I mean consciously doing everything I could to be there with her (she has never been sick this long), preparing her favorite snacks and bathing her... and we had some fun moments, talking, painting, watching a movie together, giggling over William's silly noises, and snuggling up in bed with a Mr. Man book.

Emma painting in our play-room

Happily, I have also been able to step out a little thanks to our devoted cleaning lady G. who has graciously taken over for the vacationing sitter. Hence, I still made it to the hospital and dr's today and will go to the ophtalmologist tomorrow even if Emma is still not 100% better and able to go to kindergarden. Not the most exciting outings, but at least it minimizes frustration and postponing and waiting...

Emma painting away

So what's with the doctors?
Well since December when my stress levels and migraines became unbearable and I was told that my blood pressure was not ok (by the eye doctor) I have been doing all sorts of tests (an eye test, blood tests, hormone tests, an MRI, a heart ECG, a heart ultra-sound, a 24 hour blood-pressure test happening as I write), and seen various specialists; an eye-doctor, a dentist, a cardiologist and a neurologist as well as the thyroid specialist and last but not least a psychotherapist because if my heart is pounding so hard I believe it's because it needs to be heard and I need to let it talk.
I was inclined to believe that the stress and sadness of my father's death and the sleepless nights and no-pause days (no 1 or 2 hour naps when you can step out of being a Mum in front of the telly or a book) were to blame, I nevertheless decided it was top priority to sort this out because I cannot function with migraines. Let alone entertain & look after Emma and Will.

Emma and Will crawling together

It has been a scary and stressful process - even just getting round to the doctors and appointments with my kids timetables and no grand-parents around to help. My thyroid meds have been changed, I have removed all external contraceptives from my body and have been taking blood pressure meds for 2 weeks now as well as a mild dose of anti-depressants to help me manage the emotional side. (Although the dr said that my serotonin levels were totally depleted due to prolonged lack of sleep and stress and so I needed to fill the pool up again.)

Hopefully I will have some news this week after handing in my carry-round blood-pressure measurer (which incidentally is driving me NUTS blowing up every 30 minutes!) at the hospital tomorrow. I am having a hard time not finding this annoying despite trying to be positive and humorous about my sci-fi looking accessory. I am not a good sick person. Being a sick parent is even tougher.

My fashionable 24 hour accessory

It's kind of scary having to do all this. I feel and have felt many different things; Wobbly is an understatement. Doing this made me feel ill. And weak. And in order to look after kids you need to be strong and fit. Falling short really scared me. But I also felt strong and determined to get better. It also made me think of my Dad and how he had been ill when I was a little girl and then gotten better, also of him in hospital at the end of his life and that made me sad. Ever so sad. I really wished I could pick up the phone and talk with him.

I also realized that I need to put myself first more - or last less - because I need to be well, fit and happy to be there for my family and kids. The cardiologist & neurologist (both men) told me that I need more recreation in my life, more time for me and things to to balance the stress of my son's screaming and unpredictable sleeplessness. My father would no doubt have approved.

I also felt humbled and grateful sitting in the waiting room of the hospital because I was next to people lying in beds attached to machines and at the same time I felt scared and wished I was somewhere else. I also remembered my open heart surgeries in 1997 and 1999. And the people who were by my side during those difficult times. It also made me remember that we are mortal. And fragile.

I felt angry at this world where pharmacies (and food shops and the Internet) sell things that we are made to believe are going to help us when in fact they may be harmful. I mean when you are ill, you want to be able to trust your pharmacist and rely on your doctor.

I felt very little and alone queuing at the hospital (it's huge!) and asking the administrative personnel to repeat instructions in German slowly. It reminded me of how my friend I. had been with me when I needed to find a good Obgyn when I was in Izmir just pregnant with Emma. (thank-you I. I will never forget you not letting me be alone...)

Simultaneously I was grateful that I had someone to leave the kids with so that they did not need to be there (bacteria, ill people, scared and worried people including me - once I walked out I could smile and be myself with them, but not there in the hospital). I also doubted a lot. What if... what if?

Anyway, hopefully tomorrow, or at least by the end of this week, I'll know more. And hopefully it will be good news.

All good vibes welcome! ;-)

Rockin' Emma

And he goes!

Nearly Spring

Today was one of the first spring like days making our Sunday walk much more pleasant. It was SO welcome after a cold and gray winter!




We are really looking forward to Spring! I can't wait until we don't have to put on boots and hats, scarves and gloves and can just breeze out in a sweater, leave the doors to the garden open and eat in our garden or on the terraces that fill the streets of Vienna making so much more welcoming.


By then, no doubt, William will be walking and we will have to keep after him, but we will be able to hopefully keep him busy with balls and the sandpit.

9 month Will and 3,5 year old Emma update

Although Emma has always been super sociable greeting strangers in the street and showing them her doll/bike/car/teddy/Mummy/brother she has rather stubbornly been refusing to ask for her own hot chocolate or saying thank-you in a café when brought her order... She always plays the "shy" card although she knows these people (we are talking about cafés we go to very often) and it has been quite a mystery to me as to why she was doing this.


Anyway, after explaining to her that not greeting people was impolite and could be hurtful and a few week-end morning outing just with Mummy at the café, hairdresser, in town where I stopped asking her to greet people but made a point of greeting and thanking people profusely hoping she would copy me yesterday she ordered her own hot chocolate, thanked the waitress, said good-bye as we left and even asked the pharmacist if they had hello kitty plasters all by herself. She has also been greeting the baby sitter and cleaning lady more politely, apologising when she burps and farts (this was another thing she always refused to do).

Not only that, she also used the toilet in our favorite café to poo (this was something she only did at home and at kindergarden) which I think shows increased confidence and ease with the world around her.
Yay Emma !!

Emma at the hairdresser's

Emma having a huge hot chocolate with cream at the park café.
After being out at -6° for nearly an hour we needed warming up a bit!

This week-end William also started crawling. Well, sort of. He moves forward on his own. Now the trouble begins when he is awake too. Because our little Mr. Jumpy has not been sleeping well again. In fact he is taking 25 minute naps and making our days crazy. Then, because he is over-tired, he keeps waking at night. So life is not easy. Again. I really hope that he will overcome this really soon because we have really had enough.

Good news is, he will be starting at the same kindergarden as Emma (but in the younger kids group) this summer.



Oh, and on Friday, I find out my thyroid meds (new dosages as of Oct. 13th) were making me hyper so that explains -at least in part- why I was so stressed and wanted to bight everybody's head off.

Da da da

I am not sure, but it does kind of seem as if he's trying to say something...

William the demolition man

Both Emma and William love building blocks.



Unfortunately, by the time I got my camera out he was no longer having the giggling fits he had had initially when demolishing my towers but it gives you and idea of the kind of fun we have.

First childhood disease for Will

William is ill for the first time. Huge fever. He soaked his pajamas thoroughly last night. He's on ibuprofen when the fever exceeds 39° (which improves his mood) and is drinking lots quite readily. Also, for once, his naps exceed an hour. In fact today, he napped for 2,5 hours for the first time since he was a week old! Poor darling is, totally understandably, quite miserable.

According to the dr. it's probably three day fever which is also the first childhood disease Emma had if my memory serves me correctly.

Also, I have stopped brestfeeding him. It's been 3 days now (after 8,5 months) and I am still leaking a bit but all in all quite happy to wear matching lacy undies again as opposed to the immensely practical but not most beautiful) breast-feeding bras.
Another step ahead in the right direction. ;-)

Ah, ... and it's raining spring-like rain at 9° C! If only winter were really over... but I'm quite sure another bout of cold and snow is just around the corner.

Good-bye 2010 - update on the kids's progress

The best news to end 2010 with was that Emma pooed in the toilet! Finally!!! Not once, but now that she has done it four times, I think we can assume we are rid of her nappies! YAY!! We made a huge fuss, took her out to buy a doll I had promised her she would get when she pooed in the toilet, and applauded and cheered (every time!). She even says bye bye poo as she flushes and likes using the toilet brush.

Also, we left the kids' dummies to Santa Claus alongside the cookies on his plate by the Christmas tree. The first few nights were tough for Emma as she would cry and ask for her dummy saying she didn't like Santa and wanted her "lolly" back. But every bed-time got easier and after 5 nights things were pretty much back to normal. William couldn't care less.

Will has been sleeping through his core night and waking around 6am most nights and now has 3,5 teeth out! (2 on the bottom and one and a bit from the top). He puts absolutely everything he can get his hands on in his mouth and loves things that squeak or beep back at him.
He has also become very agile at swinging from sitting to lying on his tummy and back shuffling both on his bum and on his tummy. He swirls and turns on his tummy and swings and sways backwards and forwards when on his knees and hands but no crawling yet. Basically, we better get all cables and wires clear soon as he is moving around quite well and as curious as can be!

That's all for now!

Holiday creativity

Emma and I decorated the Christmas tree with Grand-Papa and Pata


and then added our home made Santas on some of the branches. These were made with felt and toilet rolls (my favorite raw material for craft activities!).


Last but not least, we made some fuzzy haired fairies that sort of remind me of Endora from the 60's series Bewitched.

Om Sri Rama, Jaya Rama, Jaya, Jaya Rama

Recently, on this blog, I came across a video of a mantra that I have used to calm myself when getting stressed (like when William is crying in the car and Emma is whining and we are in a hurry to get somewhere).

I was really surprised when I heard the voice of the girl on the video because to my ears she totally sounds like me! I mean, I literally I had the feeling of hearing myself - my own voice. Weird, huh?
Well, I took it as a sign that this was the right mantra for me.

Om Sri Rama, Jaya Rama, Jaya, Jaya Rama

A rough translation: 'Om and Victory to Rama (the self within), victory, victory to Rama.'

According to this site it is "a Sanskrit mantra chanted by many Hindus and Buddhists. It literally means "Om and Victory to Rama, vistory, victory to Rama". Mahatma Gandhi chanted this mantra for over 60 years. It is intended to cleanse one of negative karma, from this life and previous lives and to take one "across the ocean of rebirth" ."

What's not to love? Plus, I really like the sound of it and I think William does too ;-)

Strong as a bull!

William under the table, pulling the chairs, how fun is that?



Not crawling yet, but moving about and sliding backwards while on his tummy. Loves discovering new stuff.

happy kids - update in pics

William on the kitchen counter

Emma learning to write the alphabet on the iPad

William ready to face the cold

Emma all dressed up in front of our Christmas tree

Emma at her Kindergarden Christmas Party

thank-you Santa

On November 25th, I started a post like this:

"Dear Santa,
for Christmas I would like sleep filled nights for William, Emma, Steph and myself. We really are getting desperately tired."

Today is December 14th, and William has been sleeping full nights (like 11 or 12 hour nights!) for the past 10 days or so. The last time we actually had to get out of bed in the middle of the night to help him re-settle was December 4th.

Yay!!!!! Woudn't you say?

Without a doubt, the cranio-sacral osteopathy has helped tons! In fact, William's first full night was just after seeing her for the first time on Tuesday November 23rd. He then had some really bad nights, but the general trend was positive.

After he skipped the 3 am feed on November 28th on his own and for the first time, we decided he might be ready to do without so we upped the quantities of banana and apple in the day-time and stopped feeding him at night.
The first 4 nights were a bit tough with a lot of screaming and he had no prop to help him out since, as per the sleep consultant's recommendation, we had removed the swaddle and the dummy. All we did was shh and pat his back for 2 minutes before leaving him to re-settle.
I have to say, for a couple of nights I had to brace myself to stay in bed so as to not react too quickly. Steph was actually much better at this than me. (I have to say though, that following an experts instructions makes it easier because you don't keep doubting whether what you are doing is the right thing and so you feel more serene and I think that babies feel that too.)

Whatever! The key thing is we are now sleeping again! I cannot tell you what a difference this is making in our lives, our energy levels and our general mood. We have a lot of catching up to do (in sleep and other things) but I feel wonderful and grateful that we have finally started!

Also, after going totally wonky due to the increase in night time sleep, now William's naps are improving too. Although he is definitely does not need nearly as much sleep as Emma does, (je sleeps around 2-2,5 hours a day when she was sleeping at least 4 at this age!) we are gradually getting into a predictable routine which means that hopefully Emma and I will be able to have some play-dates in the afternoons (which I won't need to cancel) and that I might even get some baby play-dates with Mums and lattes! How great is that?!

Finally, it also means that we can start to leave Will with a sitter and go out in the evenings for dinner and a movie!!!

So YAY! to sleep filled nights! Thank-you Santa, thank-you B. the osteopath and D. the sleep expert. Thank-you and Yay! William!

And oh! please! please, don't let this little post jinx it all!
Oh, and Santa Baby, now if you could also help out with Emma... the nappy thing, you know? It would be great if she would finally feel comfortable enough to poo in the toilet -not in a nappy while sitting on the toilet.

Thanks!

Grand-papa & Pata's visit

This week-end Grand-papa François & Pata visited us. Emma was absolutely over the moon with joy that her grand-parents were visiting and gave them a warm and enthusiastic greeting -jumping up and down - when they picked her up at kindergarden on Friday afternoon.

She absolutely lapped up the extra attention and love - especially from her grand-dad on the first day, but she also warmed up to Pata by Saturday.

The weather was not so great - snow and slush and rain and an absolutely glacial wind - but we still managed to visit Schönbrunn Christmas Market and have an absolutely scrumptious dinner at Do & Co Albertina.

We also decorated our Christmas tree and placed some gifts under it. This confused Emma a bit (how come there were presents under the tree and when did Santa Claus come?) so we had to explain that at Christmas time we exchange family presents and that Santa will come on Christmas eve (although she does not understand when this is despite the fact that we open the 2 advent calendars every morning)... She is 3 and 3 months old after all...

Emma and Grand-papa François

Tomorrow we'll be going to the kindergarden Christmas party.

Ein Was?

Today for lunch I went down to my local market's cheese stand (actually more of a delicatessen) where they also serve up fresh home made soup and other yummy dishes.

All the ordering is in German and while I often order an Eintopf (stew) today I decided I wanted to order the Nudelauflauf (a kind of pasta and vegetable gratin). Unfortunately for me, what I actually said was Einlauf -which literally means enema.


so to recap:
Eintopf : stew
Auflauf : gratin
Einlauf : enema

Phew!

Lovely laughter

I just love hearing him laugh!

Sleepless in Vienna - 3

Today William is seven months old. 7 months. 7-months-of-sleeplessness. Ouch. My head hurts a little more when I actually say it.

After a fantastic night on Tuesday (he actually slept the whole night waking only for his 3am feed and I actually had to wake him at 7 am!!! oh, what a dream!) last night was the worst it has been in months.
He slept from 7pm-9pm and then from around 10h30-12h20 and then from around 3-5am. I am exhausted! I am fed up! I want him, need him to sleep. He needs to sleep.

To make matters worse, he seems to be preparing for another tooth (or two) to come out, as he is dribbling galore and has a bit of a fever.

On Tuesday we saw the cranio-sacral osteopath (just before the fantastic night's sleep) and she said he was a little tense and so she "tuned him down a little". We go back next Tuesday.

I have not yet started him on the baby consultant's plan as I think we need to do that when things have settled a bit and I want to give the osteopathic treatment a chance.

On the positive side, the workmen who were re-doing the bathrooms of the flat above ours seem to have vanished. I so hope they are done!

On the positive side 2: we have finally managed to remove the swaddle from William (or William from the swaddle?); it was becoming really dangerous as he could unswaddle himself and then there was this big bit of cloth he could get all knotted up in with him in the cot.

my little treasures

William has so far tried and liked mushed apples and bananas and today some baby crackers.

William trying a baby cracker for the first time

Emma peeled her first hard boiled egg today - it took aaaaages!- and ended up telling me
"I don't like the yellow" and "this boiled egg was the best!" she only ate the white...

I think she looks great with short hair! It suits her face so well!

A picture of Emma's face on the way to becoming Tiger is posted in the window of the hairdresser where we had her face painted for Halloween!

These days she can look so grown up!

Sleepless in Vienna update

Well, the full night was, it seems, a one off.

Last night William woke at least once an hour from 11h30 pm to 2h30 (when I fed him) and then from 5h onwards.
Today, he had apples for breakfast and bananas for lunch (on top of breast milk) and his naps were not great (totaling to just under 3 hours) but I managed to extend two of them.

We'll see what the night brings but I am looking even more forward to my Thursday discussion with the sleep consultant.

Tomorrow I have part of the morning off thanks to the sitter and plan to have lunch with hubs - how long has that been??!!

Sleepless in Vienna

For the past 3 months William has been waking 6 or 7 times a night. His naps have been as short as 27 minutes and very rarely (maybe about 3 times) as long as 2 hours. His average total day-time sleep is about 2,5-3 hours (way below average for his age!).

We have reached the end of our rope. No amount of routine, patience, feeding, nursing, singing, teething gel, by the minute timing and hawk like observing has seemed to improve the situation. To the point where I have hired the services of a baby sleep expert- yes you can laugh! - (she is based in Canada and our first consult will take place Thursday evening on Skype) and I'm taking William to see a osteopath (craniosacral) on Tuesday next week.

Then, last night, for a reason that remains a mystery to me, William only woke for his dream feed at 11pm (that doesn't even really count as a waking!) and then for his 3am feed. Other than that, he miraculously slept from 8pm to 6h25am. I am in awe. And I'm not even afraid of jinxing it anymore as it's probably a one-off.

The worst of it is that we have absolutely no clue as to what might have contributed to this wonderful sleep filled night.
And now, this morning, after a short 45minute nap, the banging started.
I ran up to the first floor and rang and rang a doorbell. The workman explained that he needs to demolish and reconstruct the bathroom entirely! How long will this last? Oh at least a week!
Oh nooooo!

Still, you never know, Will might actually do an encore... (oh, yes, please!!!) just so the logs I sent the baby sleep specialist are totally obsolete by Thursday (today he only did 45 minute naps and had 4 of them) and to show us that we were wrong to give up hope .

Tune in tomorrow to find out what our night was like.

Will and Emma

William is quite hilarious - a part from the fact that he is causing us to sleep about 3-4 hours a night - and so cute! He laughs at his own reflection in the mirror, smiles when he sees Emma or a picture of her, adores being tickled, loves new sounds, has absolutely no stranger anxiety - quite the contrary!

Here William munching on Sophie the giraffe while chuckling at the cow sounds another toy makes.

Emma's current favorites are "I spy with my little eye" and singing "Brown bear brown bear what do you see?"

She has also recently discovered Holly and Ben from < href=""> Little Kingdomwhich she loves and the very useful, fun and educational starfall ABC game.

The latter - and the fact that she has the letters of the alphabet stickers on her bed - means that whenever she is out and about she now spots letters in signs, tables, papers, logos, etc. and exclaims "Mummy! Look! It's Gogo! (meaning G for Gogo)" or "it's E for me (Emma)!" So funny!

Also, Emma now can swing herself on the big girl swing! Yiippeee!

Jumping William

These are Will's first jumps!

And did I mention that his 2 bottom teeth have come out? and that he can sit (although he still topples over after a while) and that he has the smelliest farts ever???